I Am Because You Are

On the last day of Term 1 we had a successful House Competition Day that included an obstacle course and colour run. Before the day commenced I reminded the students of our larger purpose by quoting Liz Mills, an Australian basketball coach who has had great success with the previously struggling Kenyan Men’s Basketball team:

“I love the African notion of ‘ubuntu’. It means, ‘I am because we are’ - I can only be all I can be, if you are all you can be … The values of kindness, care, empathy and connection … can be particularly effective when emphasised to - and embraced by - a group of people.”

The sentiment of this thinking is really at the heart of ‘Living Well, Learning Well’ - by ensuring that we value, care for and respect each other we will create a powerful learning environment for all and one where we can be safe to become our best selves.

The African notion of Ubuntu was championed by the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu after the collapse of Apartheid in South Africa and increasingly Western organisations are considering how adopting this approach might reverse some of the more damaging effects of rampant individualism that afflicts our society.

The South African academic, James Ogbude explains:

‘If there is anything that defines Ubuntu and distinguishes it from other value systems, it is the fact that it is premised on a very specific understanding of personhood and that it is that the full development of personhood comes with a shared identity and the idea that an individual’s humanity is fostered in a network of relationships - I am because you are; we are because you are.’

‘… personhood is attained through complex processes of exchange and engagement as people interact and communicate with those around them and with the totality of their environment. It is for this reason that I argue here that Ubuntu as a specific strand of Africa’s expression of personhood is a moral obligation and aspirational.’

When we live the ‘I’ we focus on what we want, our individual needs come before all else. This tends to deny the fact that we live in community and that it is through relationships with others that we find true contentment and fulfilment. So much of our culture seeks to indoctrinate us into thinking that by living the ‘I’ we get everything that we want; but we rarely get what we need. Why else do we have rising rates of isolation and alienation in society, rising rates of anxiety and depression, substance abuse, online abuse and bullying? When we live a life focused on the ‘other’ we find true joy, true contentment and spiritual fulfilment.

The table below considers the implications of what it looks like if a person takes an individualistic approach at school compared to those who consider being part of a community.

Approach to	Living the ‘I’	Living the ‘We’
Uniform	I wear the sports uniform on the wrong days because it is more comfortable or the wrong socks because they are trendier or my choice of hat because it is what I want or my pyjamas under the skirt because this suits me.	I wear the school uniform properly because I understand that I am part of something larger than myself and that my small contribution matters because we are only as strong as our weakest link.
Gratitude	I don’t say ‘thank you’ or ‘please’ because people are simply doing their job and I am getting what I deserve.	I acknowledge that everyone matters - no matter how humble, how simple a job, each person deserves their dignity to be respected and by being civil and gracious I help others feel this way.
Disposing of rubbish	I believe that other people are paid to clean up after me. I don’t think my little bit of rubbish matters.	I believe that I have a responsibility to make sure that others feel comfortable in our environment and should do everything I can to achieve this.
Courtesy	I don’t care too much about how others feel - everyone is out to look after themselves and I should be no different.	I treat others with good humour, politeness and consideration. It comes from a sincere desire to make others comfortable and valued.
Those less fortunate	I notice people on the margins and tend to give them labels like ‘nerd’ and ‘freak’ and ‘geek’ and ‘loser’. The more I do this the more I feel that I am not like them.	I have the capacity to make other people feel valued and wanted through simple words, gestures and actions.
Teamwork in the classroom	I don’t think too much about whether anyone else learns or can concentrate - I do what interests me at the time regardless of how it impacts on others.	I make sure that I play my part to enable everyone to do their best in the classroom - I focus, cooperate, and contribute positively to the learning team.
Kindness	I do what is best for me and feel that everyone is responsible to look after themselves.	I use words and actions that make others feel respected, happy and valued.
Generosity	I focus on looking after myself and getting what I need to be happy.	I give of my time, effort and resources to help others without expecting anything in return.
Acceptance of others	I don’t like those who are different to me because I don’t understand them and I don’t like what and who they are. They make me question myself.	I make a conscious decision to treat others equally and value the fact that their differences are important and make our lives richer.
Respect	I’m not too interested in what others think or feel or believe.	I act with deep consideration for others. I am thoughtful about their feelings, their rights and their wishes.

So often when Mr Whelan and myself are dealing with students who are unproductive or unsafe they are operating out of the ‘Living the I’ column. Much of our work is centred on helping them to shift their thinking and their actions into the ‘We’ column. Parents and carers play a key role in encouraging this way of living through their own example and through their repeated affirmation of these values and challenging their children firmly when they see self-centred behaviour and attitudes. Fortunately, most of our students aspire to live the second and recognise that this is what makes for a more harmonious and productive learning environment.

Desmond Tutu articulates best why this is so important:

"Far too often people think of themselves as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole world. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity. A person with ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed. Ubuntu is very difficult to render into a Western language. It speaks of the very essence of being human.... you are generous, you are hospitable, you are friendly and caring and compassionate. You share what you have. It is to say, 'My humanity is inextricably bound up in yours.' We belong in a bundle of life."

A student’s wellbeing and learning flourishes when they have a strong connection to school. Creating an environment where all feel this way is the responsibility of each one of us - staff, parents and students - and that begins by helping others to flourish first.

Mick Larkin - Assistant Principal - Pastoral

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