Editorial

There is no denying that life is full of ups and downs, for us and for our children, and these can create some of the toughest challenges we navigate together. As parents, our instinct is often to protect our children from hardship. Yet what they frequently need most is not for us to remove the challenge, but to walk alongside them as they face it.

Karen Young, psychologist and author specialising in children and anxiety, reminds us that avoidance is the enemy of anxiety. Through her Hey Sigmund resources, she explains that avoidance grows anxiety because it teaches the brain that something safe is actually dangerous. The more we avoid something, the more powerful the anxiety becomes.

Whether it is saying goodbye to a parent in the morning, dealing with an unexpected change, going on camp, joining a sporting team, sitting a test, having a difficult conversation, or asking for help, our role is to support children in stepping towards anxiety rather than away from it.

One of the most helpful concepts Karen introduces is the difference between 'scary safe' and 'scary dangerous'. Some situations are genuinely dangerous and require protection.

However, many things that cause children anxiety are actually scary safe. Speaking in front of a class, joining a new group of friends, trying something difficult, or sleeping away from home may feel frightening, but they are not harmful. In fact, they are opportunities for growth.

As parents and educators, we can help children recognise the difference and take small, manageable steps forward. We need to teach them that anxiety and bravery can exist together. Bravery is not the absence of fear; it is choosing to move forward despite it.

Karen Young writes:

"Every time we avoid something safe that feels scary, our brain files it under dangerous. Every time we move towards it, even in the smallest way, our brain starts to learn something new. We did that. We survived. Maybe it's okay. Maybe I can be brave."

The goal is not to eliminate anxiety completely. The goal is to help children learn they can move forward with anxiety, one small brave step at a time.

As Christian parents and educators, we have the privilege of framing life's ups and downs through a biblical lens. We can remind our children (and ourselves) that the mountaintops and the valleys are both filled with the presence of God. As Psalm 23:4 reminds us, "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.”

When children know they are supported by caring adults (both at home and at school) and held securely in God's hands, they can learn to face life's challenges, one brave step at a time.

For more resources from Karen Young, I recommend following her socials that are filled with helpful thinking. Her books written for children are excellent resources: Hey Little Warrior, Dear Brain and Ups and Downs are a great place to start.

Gill Birkett

Kindergarten Director