Wellbeing

Big Feelings and Challenging Behaviour: Helping Our Kids Grow

Growing up comes with a lot of big emotions. Learning how to manage these feelings is a big job for primary school children—from our littlest Preps to our older Year 6 students.

Sometimes, children show their frustration or stress through challenging behaviours. This might look like yelling, refusing to listen, throwing things, or even hitting or hurting others.

Behaviour is Communication

Behaviour is a message. When children struggle to find the right words for their stress, frustration, or exhaustion, they are showing us how they feel through their actions instead of words. Their behaviour shows us they are having a hard time.

Having big feelings is a normal part of growing up. But just because it is normal does not mean we should ignore it. Children need calm, clear rules from adults to help them learn how to behave safely.

Why We Need to Help Them Now

It is very important to teach good behaviour habits during primary school.

If we don't handle these behaviours now, our little children will grow into big, strong teenagers and adults. An adult who never learned how to control their anger or frustration can get into serious trouble in life, at work, and in relationships. Teaching them these skills now sets them up for a safe, successful future.

When Does It Become a Problem?

Every child has a bad day, but you might need extra support if the behaviour is:

Ongoing: It happens a lot over a long time.
Intense: The reactions are very strong or unsafe.
Impacting Life: It stops them from making friends or learning at school.

Quick Tips for Home

Stay Calm First: When your child is upset, get down to their eye level. Use a calm voice. Say something like, "I see you are angry, let's take a deep breath together."
Notice Their Personal Space: Some children want you to stay close by when they have big feelings, while others need a little space to calm down. Give support in a way that helps your child feel safe and comfortable.
Praise the Good Things: Notice when they do the right thing. Say, "Thank you for using gentle words," or "Thank you for waiting patiently."
Be a Good Role Model: Children copy what we do. If we stay calm when we are stressed, they learn to stay calm too.
Have Clear Rules: Make simple rules at home so they know what is allowed and what is not.

We Are Here to Help

At school, our staff work hard to teach students how to manage their emotions and respect boundaries.

You do not have to do this alone. If you are worried about your child's behaviour, please talk to your child’s classroom teacher or your family doctor (GP) who can also give you great advice.

For more helpful and easy tips, you can read the Royal Children’s Hospital guides here: