Deputy Principal

In my address to the Senior School at last week's College Assembly, I delivered the following speech:

Good morning, Staff and Gentlemen.

I want to speak with you this morning about something important and relevant to every one of us.

Over recent weeks, there have been numerous reports in the media involving young men, alcohol, violence against women, and allegations of sexual assault. While the details may vary, there are often common themes: a lack of respect for boundaries, poor decisions influenced by alcohol, peer pressure, and a failure to recognise the dignity of another person. 

Now let me be clear. This is not about pointing fingers at young men - it is about the kind of men you are becoming. Every day, through the choices we make, we are shaping our character. Character is not built in the big moments of life. It is built in the small ones. It is built when nobody is watching. It is built when you have a choice between doing what is easy and doing what is right. As a Catholic school, we see these issues through the lens of faith. Our faith teaches us that every person is created in the image and likeness of God. Every person has inherent dignity. Every person deserves respect. That means every young woman you encounter deserves respect. Every young man deserves respect. Every person deserves to be treated with dignity simply because they are a child of God. 

At St Patrick's College, we are not simply trying to produce successful young men.

We are trying to form good men. Men of faith. Men of integrity. Men of courage. Men who understand that true strength is not having power over others but serving others.

One of the most important ways we show respect is through understanding consent. Consent means respecting another person's boundaries and choices. It means recognising that every person has the right to say no. It means understanding that pressure is not consent. And it means recognising that consent can be withdrawn at any time. Respecting boundaries is not simply about following rules. It is about recognising the dignity of another person. Unfortunately, many of the incidents we hear about also involve alcohol.

But let's be clear. Alcohol is never an excuse. It does not remove responsibility. It does not excuse disrespect. And it does not justify crossing someone's boundaries. 

Another factor that often influences behaviour is peer pressure. We all want to fit in. We all want to be accepted by our mates. But sometimes the desire to belong can cause people to stay silent when they know something is wrong. That is where courage becomes important. Real courage is not about how much you can drink. Real courage is not about showing off. Real courage is having the strength to stand apart from the crowd when the crowd is heading in the wrong direction. It is being prepared to say: "That's not okay." It is protecting someone who is vulnerable. It is calling out disrespectful behaviour even when it is unpopular. 

Gentlemen, when your mates make degrading comments about girls, what do you do?

When someone forwards an inappropriate image, what do you do?

When you witness bullying or disrespect, what do you do?

The easy thing is to stay silent. The courageous thing is to act. The easy thing is to go along with the crowd. The courageous thing is to stand up for what is right.

Every one of us helps shape the culture around us. Culture is not created by rules, it is created by people; by the standards they accept, by the choices they make and by how they treat others.

At St Patrick's College, we speak often about faith, respect, integrity, justice and community. But values only matter when they are lived. Not just at school. Not just in front of teachers. But at home. At parties. Online. On weekends. And when nobody is watching.

Our values are not something we switch on and off depending on the situation. 

There is another influence that we also need to be honest about. Many young people today are exposed to pornography at a very young age. The problem is that pornography does not teach healthy relationships. It does not teach love. It does not teach respect. It often presents a distorted view of relationships where people are treated as objects rather than individuals with dignity and worth. One of the dangers of pornography is that it can normalise behaviours that should never be considered normal in a loving relationship like choking your partner. It can make aggression seem acceptable. It can blur the understanding of consent. And it can send the message that relationships are about power and personal gratification rather than mutual respect, trust and genuine care. We need to think critically about the messages we absorb online and ask whether they are helping us become the men God calls us to be.

Gentlemen, one day you will leave this College.

People may not remember every mark you achieved, every game you played, or every award you won.

But they will remember how you treated people.

They will remember whether you showed respect.

Whether you stood up for others.

Whether you acted with integrity.

Whether your actions reflected your values.

Being a St Patrick's man is not about wearing our uniform.

It is about how you live.

It is about recognising the dignity of every person.

It is about respecting women and their choices.

It is about understanding consent.

It is about having the courage to challenge behaviour that demeans others.

It is about doing what is right, even when nobody is watching.

So, my challenge to you this morning is simple.

Be the young man who speaks up.

Be the young man who treats others with dignity.

Be the young man who respects boundaries.

Be the young man who protects those who are vulnerable.

Be the young man whose character reflects the values of this College, the example of Edmund Rice, and the teachings of Christ.

Because the culture of our community, and indeed our society, will be shaped by the choices that you make today.

Live Jesus in our hearts.

Adrian Byrne

Deputy Principal