The GO's Column

Creating Kind Humans for Humankind

We all know the old adage; it takes a village to raise a child. With this in mind, it is imperative that we teach young people how to navigate friendships. In today’s society, this is perhaps more relevant than ever. We need to consciously teach our children how to communicate with respect and kindness; to manage disagreements, communicate when emotions are high, set boundaries, respond when they have been hurt, and understand the impact their behaviour has on others.

These are lifelong skills, one of our most important roles is helping young people develop the capacity to be kind humans.

The goal is not simply to prevent bullying. It is to develop young people who are kind, respectful, courageous and responsible in the way they treat others.

Developing Communication Skills in the Digital Age

Young people will always experience friendship difficulties. They will have disagreements, misunderstandings, fallouts and moments when feelings are hurt. Friendships may change, and sometimes people will make mistakes.

This is a normal part of growing up.

What matters is how young people respond. The challenge today, is to learn how to communicate respectively and assertively, online and IRL (in real life), without undermining the thoughts or feelings of the other person. Healthy communication involves being able to say, “I didn't like that,” without attacking someone. It means listening to another person's perspective, respecting boundaries and being willing to acknowledge when we have made a mistake. It also means understanding that we can be upset with someone without being unkind to them.

Recognising When Behaviour Becomes Harmful

It is important for young people to understand the difference between everyday conflict and bullying behaviour. Bullying can involve repeated behaviour that harms, humiliates, intimidates or deliberately excludes another person. It may be physical, verbal, social or occur online. At the same time, not every friendship problem is bullying. A disagreement between friends, a relationship ending or two young people having different perspectives can be difficult without necessarily being bullying. Whatever the situation, hurtful behaviour deserves attention. Our young people need to know that they can seek help when something doesn't feel right and that asking an adult for support is a strength, not a weakness.

What can Families do at Home?

Families have an incredibly important role in helping young people develop healthy relationship skills. Try talking about everyday situations rather than waiting for a major problem to occur. You might ask:

• “How do you know when someone is being a good friend?”
• “What could you do if you saw someone being left out?”
• “What would you do if your friends were making fun of someone?”
• “How can you disagree with someone without being disrespectful?”
• “What could you say if someone crossed a boundary?”
• “If you realise you've hurt someone, what could you do to make it right?”

These conversations help young people build a vocabulary for relationships and give them strategies they can draw on when situations become challenging.

Encourage the Pause

One of the most valuable skills we can teach young people is to pause before reacting.

A message sent in anger, a comment made in front of friends or a post shared online can have consequences that last much longer than the emotion that prompted it. Encourage your young person to pause and ask:

Sometimes the kindest and strongest choice is to walk away, put the phone down and come back to the conversation later.

Kindness takes Courage

Being a kind person doesn't mean being a pushover. Kindness can mean standing up for yourself. 

• It can mean saying, “That's not okay.” 
• It can mean refusing to join in when others are putting someone down. 
• It can mean checking on someone who has been excluded. 
• It can mean telling a trusted adult when something is happening. 
• And sometimes, it means saying, “I'm sorry. I got that wrong.”

We want our young people to understand that their choices matter, including the choices they make when no teacher or parent is watching.

Raising Kind Humans for a Better Future

When we talk about wellbeing, respectful relationships and bullying, we are ultimately talking about something much bigger. We are helping young people become the people they will be in their workplaces, families, friendships and communities. We want them to be young people who can communicate honestly, manage conflict respectfully, recognise unhealthy behaviour, stand up for others and take responsibility for their own actions.

Most importantly, we want them to understand that kindness is a choice we make every day. Together, school and families can help our young people become not just successful students, but good people who make the lives of those around them better.