Family conversations that can help us cope

Back to school anxiety

Next week our younger students, Years P-2, will be starting back on site at school. In preparation for that, this week I want to encourage meaningful family discussions. There is so much happening all at once right now, it would be understandable if anyone is feeling overwhelmed or even anxious. For those of you who are feeling that way, or if one of your family members is currently struggling with anxiety, it is okay. Anyone and everyone can get overwhelmed or nervous from time to time, it happens. Everyone has fears, and those fears can grow when put under pressure. No matter how big your anxieties, how deep-rooted your fears or how overwhelming your life can feel, you can always move forward and shine on. One of the best ways to start to move forward is to have meaningful conversations with someone you trust, this could mean your family, your friends or even your neighbours.

It is important to address your concerns or anxiety with others as to not let them fester.

Chances are if one member of the family is experiencing a stressor, other members are experiencing similar stressors. So taking the time to stop, breathe, reflect, and discuss will not only benefit you, but it will support your whole family. Meaningful conversations not only help you to cope with the anxieties and can improve mental health, but they also support social and emotional growth.

The Three Things to Discuss

1. To start, let’s just reflect on what has taken place in the last few hours, days, weeks or months. Reflection is possibly the most effective tool we have that strengthens and grows our understanding. So begin your family discussion with “What happened?” Discuss what you did while in quarantine, what challenges you faced, fun experiences, what you accomplished, anything that comes up naturally good and bad.

2. Next, address your fears and worries. What have you been concerned about, and be specific? When we don’t talk about fears or worries they often grow deeper roots in our personality and perspective and can begin to own us. Once we state our worries or fears out loud, we own them. Just talking through the worries we hold helps us to understand, and even debunk them.

3. And finally, find the bright side and look forward. There are many questions that can help us to do this; What did we learn from this experience and how can that help us in our future? What are we most excited to do? Who are we most excited to see? What things did we miss that we will soon be able to do again? What did we take for granted, and how can we appreciate it more now? As a world, we learned so much over the last few months, and that learning will help us, so let’s try to remember it and be grateful.

Planning the Family Conversation

As you plan your family conferences consider setting up the meeting space carefully. You may want to take extra steps to ensure the space will be cherished or even sacred. Think about what you can do to make the space comfortable and encouraging for all the members of your family. Maybe you want to have special seating, maybe laying cushions out in circle on the living room floor, or lay down picnic blankets in the backyard. Maybe you want to have your pets there with you.

Speaking and Listening

I recommend that you take turns in talking. Some people use an item that they hold while they talk. The item can be anything from around the house. Some examples might be, a feather, a small stone, a book, a stick, or anything that is important to you. When someone is talking they hold that special item and nobody else should be talking. This special item or talking piece allows every family member a chance to speak without interruption and know they are being heard. It is essential to ensure every member of your family takes the time to truly listen, and every member has the opportunity to speak openly.

Moving Forward

After every member of your family has had the chance to say something positive and look to the future, you should have fun. Whatever your family would enjoy works, just something to stay positive and give the conversation time for closure. Working through anxieties and stress can take time. Don’t expect solve all your issues with one conversation. Allowing space for processing worries, speaking truths, and debunking fears, is a HUGE step in the healthy mindset direction.

Enjoy your conversations and feel free to have them as often as you wish.

Cheyenne Mason - Student Wellbeing Officer

CHPS eNewsletter 2020

Growing & Learning Together

Term 2 Week 6 · 21 May 2020

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