Health & Wellbeing @ NLPS

Parents' and Carers' Coffee Morning

Come and join us for our final Parent & Carer coffee morning for the year on Tuesday 20th October.

Building Skills for Life

After some wonderful long service leave enjoying a European summer, I returned with time to reflect on how we can continue to best support our children to become confident, capable, and resilient. During my break, I also had the opportunity to read Dr Judith Locke’s book The Bonsai Child, which really resonated with many of the approaches we value and promote at school.

As parents, we naturally want our children to be happy, confident and successful. It can be tempting to protect them from anything that might be difficult or uncomfortable. However, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the opportunity to face and overcome challenges, as challenges are simply a part of life. We can give our children the confidence, skills, and resilience they need to navigate those challenges when they arise.

Children develop confidence by trying, practising, making mistakes, solving problems, and discovering, “I can do this!”

Here are five simple skills we can nurture at home and at school:

1. Resilience – “I can cope”

Resilience is one of our school values, and it is a skill that grows when children have opportunities to experience manageable challenges and work through them.

When your child says, “I can't do it,” instead of immediately solving the problem, try:

“That sounds tricky. What could you try?” “What might help?”

Notice their effort and perseverance: 

“You were frustrated, but you kept trying. That's a really important skill.”

2. Self-Regulation – learning to manage feelings

Children need opportunities to practise waiting, managing disappointment, and coping when things don't go their way.

We can acknowledge their feelings while maintaining reasonable boundaries:

“I know you're disappointed, and it's okay to feel upset. Sometimes things don't go the way we want, but we're going to stick with the plan.”

Learning that uncomfortable feelings can be managed helps children develop confidence in their ability to cope.

3. Resourcefulness – “What could I try?”

Give children time to think and solve problems before stepping in. This is one I find particularly challenging myself. With my own daughter, I know that in my attempt to be helpful, I can sometimes jump in too quickly and not give her enough time to work things out for herself. Sometimes the best support we can give is to pause, provide some thinking time, and trust that they might be able to find a solution on their own.

Try asking:

“What do you think you could do?” “Is there another way you could try?”

Their solution might not be the one we would choose, and that's okay! Mistakes and different approaches are valuable learning opportunities.

4. Respect – how our actions affect others

Respect is another of our school values, and it is learned through everyday interactions and through the example that we set.

Encourage children to listen, take turns, communicate kindly, and consider how their words and actions affect others. 

When things go wrong, ask:

“How do you think they felt?” “What could you do to make things right?”

These skills are important both face-to-face and online.

5. Responsibility – “I have something to contribute”

Responsibility is yet another one of our school values, and children feel capable and valued when they have meaningful responsibilities at home.

This might be putting away belongings, setting the table, helping with pets, or contributing to household jobs.

The goal isn't perfection… it's participation.

When children contribute to family life, they learn:

“I am capable, I have something to contribute, and I am an important part of my family.”

Helping children become resilient and capable doesn't mean expecting them to manage everything alone. They still need our support, reassurance, boundaries, and of course connection. Then we can gradually move from doing things for children, to doing things with them, to helping them have a go themselves.

I must admit; it was lovely to see how closely these ideas connect with the values we already promote at school. Our school values are more than just words we share with our students; they are qualities we hope to nurture every day. By working together, we can help each child grow into a confident, capable, respectful, and resilient young person, equipped with the skills and belief to be their very best.

Samantha Meddis

Mental Health and Wellbeing Leader