Principal's Message

Fathers’ Day

This Sunday, our attention will return to the important role that Fathers, Grandfathers and other significant male figures play within families and our wider community – a vital role that has been highlighted and celebrated as part of the Year 9 Becoming Men program and is referenced regularly throughout all of our College Formation Programs. I trust that we will all make some time to make a fuss of the Fathers in our lives.

In our fast-paced world, where being time-poor seems to be the norm, the traditional role of the Father is increasingly being contextualised amidst the busy ways of modern life. However, the important relationship that Fathers form with their children has not changed and is no less valuable. Father’s Day is a timely reminder for us to focus on the special and unique relationship that Fathers have with their children, both sons and daughters.

Specialists and authors in the Child Development field commonly speak about the ‘language of Fatherhood’ suggesting it is centred around physical activity and forming memorable moments. Particularly when children are younger, Dads are often viewed as the ‘all action’ figure that tends to relate to their children through activity, play and events. Put simply, Dads teach many important lessons through being actively involved with their children, particularly their sons. Learning to be a good sport, to share, to play fair, to plan things out and to value teamwork are lessons that Fathers tend to teach their children in very hands-on ways. Specialists suggest that playing sport, wrestling and ‘fixing things’ are the means through which such life lessons often emerge, and it is through such activities that children form relationships with their Fathers. While not seeking to overly generalise, many specialists go on to suggest that Mothers tend to interact with their children a little differently. They communicate more verbally, are more astute at developing interpersonal skills and are more likely to emotionally connect with their children. Mothers are good at being Mums and we should all be grateful for that! Fathers are good at being Dads, and we should be equally grateful for that!

This does not change as children move into adolescence. Teenage children, both sons and daughters, still value time and activities with their Father. Once again, established research suggests that the effectiveness of a Father’s relationship with their adolescent children is dependent on both the quality and the quantity of their first-hand interactions with their children. Michael Grose, a leading parenting educator and author of the highly respected Parenting Ideas series suggests that it is through shared activity and direct involvement in their children’s lives, that fathers create important relationships and build up ‘Frequent Father Points’. Of fathers he states, “… it is more about their presence (being around) and less about their presents (gifts)”. The challenge that we all have as fathers in our increasingly busy world is creating such opportunities to bank some of these ‘Points’.

Michael Grose, a leading parenting educator and author of the highly respected Parenting Ideas series, says that the effectiveness of a father’s relationship with their adolescent children is dependent on the quality, not necessarily the quantity, of their first-hand interactions with their children. He suggests that it is through shared activity and direct involvement in their children’s lives, that fathers create important relationships and build up ‘Frequent Father Points’. Of fathers he states, “… it is more about their presence (being around) and less about their presents (gifts)”. The challenge that we all have as fathers in our increasingly busy world is creating such opportunities to bank some of these Points.

Other celebrated authors such as Steve Biddulph and Tim Hawkes have emphasised the important role of fathers in being an example and ‘voice of reason’ in a world that is increasingly driven by social media and ongoing advancements in technology. They suggest that the current generation of young people are in dire need of some old-fashioned, very grounded fatherly advice such as, ‘Don’t get ahead of yourself’, ‘Treat others with respect at all times’ and ‘Think before you speak/tweet/post/snapchat/tiktok …anything …about anyone’. Fathers have a very important role in both showing the way and in correcting the way. It is an important reminder that children, particularly boys, need good men around them to model how to relate, how to behave and how to live a good life.

Of course, the unique nature of a Father’s relationship with their daughter is equally important. The notion of a Father who is present, available and attentive affords a sense of security and assists in the healthy development of self-esteem and confidence of a young girl during their adolescent years. Encouraging words, praise and affirming commentary from a Father have real currency in a girl’s world. For girls, their Father is also the first introduction and primary role model of men in their world, so it is important that Fathers treat their daughters with gentleness and respect, but also encourage them to be assertive and aspirational. In a sense, Fathers teach their daughters how they should expect to be respected as they develop. Similarly, fathers teach their sons how to be respectful, loyal and the importance of integrity. What a wonderful privilege and an important responsibility.

As Father’s Day is celebrated on Sunday, and Fathers and Grandfathers are somewhat ‘spoiled’ for the day, it may be a timely reminder for all the Dads to look for ways to spoil ourselves by spending regular and quality time with our children - by just being Dad. Personally, I know that I will be looking forward to some special attention from my adult children, and some extra special cuddles from my two Granddaughters.

I trust that we will all make some time to make a fuss of the fathers and father-figures in our lives. Happy Fathers’ Day.

Live Jesus in our Hearts.

Mr Darren O’Neill 

Principal