Wise Words With...

“I’m sorry”…. 

As parents and teachers, we have heard these words from our children many times. Sometimes they are offered freely – and sometimes our children have needed encouraging, or prompting, to apologise. 

Sometimes these apologies are heartfelt and sincere – and sometimes they are not.

In my role as primary Dean of Students, spending time with the children often means providing them with the space they need to be heard, then helping them navigate how to repair damaged friendships. 

With the understanding that our school rule is “choose respect”, and the expectation that we will be honest, it is a privilege to see the children responding to encouragement to own their part in things that have taken place. 

It is a Biblical principle to take responsibility for the things we do wrong (our sin). In 1 John 1:9 we read:  “But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.” (CEV)

What a great promise! We all do and say the wrong thing at different times. This hurts other people and hurts us too. Admitting to God that we’ve done the wrong thing, and asking for forgiveness gives us a fresh start. We only need to ask, and He will also help us to turn our behaviour around. (Changed behaviour? That’s a sign that we really ARE sorry.)

Sometimes we need to say sorry to other people to repair broken relationships. We are modelling how to take responsibility for our actions, and how to ask for forgiveness, to our children.

At times we need to contact parents to let them know what has been happening at school. This can be hard for our children.  We remind them that their parents need to know when things are going well, and when they are not. 

Our children are watching to see how we respond when they do the wrong thing. Because we are only human, we may not always be as patient or understanding as we’d like. As parents, we want our children to know that there is never anything so bad or so terrible that they can’t tell us. We might feel disappointed, but we will always love them. 

I’ve said to my own children: “Parenting – it’s one of the best things we can do, and one of the hardest things we can do!”  The good news is that we don’t have to do this by ourselves. We can ask God to help us. In Isaiah 55:6 we read the words:  

“Turn to the Lord! He can still be found.  Call out to God! He is near.”   

So – be encouraged. The next time your child needs to say “I’m sorry”, this means they have another chance to take responsibility for their actions, and to grow in kindness and character, as God intends each of us to do.