Wellbeing

Supporting Children to Develop Self-Regulation

Self-regulation is one of the most important life skills children develop. It is the ability to understand and manage emotions, behaviour and reactions to the world around them. Strong self-regulation helps children focus on learning, build positive relationships, solve problems and become increasingly independent as they grow.

Self-regulation develops gradually through warm, responsive relationships and by observing the adults around them. While the foundations are laid in the toddler and preschool years, these skills continue to develop throughout childhood, adolescence and into adulthood. Like any skill, self-regulation takes time, practice and support.

There are three key areas of self-regulation:

• Cognitive – planning, paying attention, staying focused and solving problems.
• Behavioural – managing impulses and choosing appropriate behaviours.

• Emotional – recognising and managing emotions in healthy ways.

   

How do children learn self-regulation? 😎

Children are not born knowing how to manage strong emotions, solve problems or control their impulses. Like reading or riding a bike, self-regulation develops through practice, support and repetition.

Adults play an important role by helping children:

• notice how they are feeling
• pause before reacting
• think of different ways to respond
• choose a helpful action
• reflect on what worked well.

• Games that encourage turn-taking and impulse control are also valuable opportunities to practise self-regulation.

   

Use scaffolding 🚧

Scaffolding means providing just enough support for your child to succeed, then gradually reducing that support as they become more capable.

For example:

• Help with the first maths question before encouraging your child to complete the rest independently.
• Use a timer to build short periods of focused work followed by a break.

• Check in regularly, offering encouragement rather than taking over.

   

Practise before it matters 👏

Children learn best when they can practise a skill in a calm situation before using it in a challenging one.

For example:

• Practise turning off a video game after just a few minutes before asking your child to stop during an exciting game.
• Make a short visit to the shops simply to practise staying close and following directions.

• Role-play situations such as sharing, waiting or asking for help.

   

Break routines into small steps 👣

If a routine regularly leads to frustration, teach one step at a time.

For example:

• Focus first on getting dressed independently.
• Once that becomes easy, work on eating breakfast on time.

• Next, practise packing the school bag.

   

Small successes help children build confidence and develop the skills needed to manage bigger challenges.

Celebrate progress! 🥳

Learning self-regulation takes time. Praise your child's effort, celebrate small achievements and stay consistent. Every successful practice helps build the confidence and skills they need to manage emotions, cope with challenges and become more independent.

Have a wonderful week of Wellbeing!

Juliette Hancke

Wellbeing Leader