Stoke-on-Trent in the Midlands of England is commonly known as ‘the potteries’ region. It is the world capital of ceramics, shaped by its production of pottery for centuries. As a collection of 6 towns with up to 20 potteries in operation the pottery industry was backed by the coal mining industry to provide fuel for the pottery kilns.

The Wolstanton Colliery was the largest of up to 50 collieries and coal pits in operation. It housed Hanley Deep Pit, the deepest pit in Western Europe at over 3750 feet (over 1100 metres) deep.

In 1937, Robert went to work down the Hanley Deep Pit one early morning. He had continued to work down the mine despite losing his right arm in a mine accident previously and chose to work at the high-risk coal face where the wages were higher in order to provide for his wife and 8 children under 12. Deep in the mine the work was gruelling in dark, cramped, dirty and hazardous conditions. When he went to work this day in the mine, he did not know that someone would make a mistake that would make it his last. A miner left one of the trapdoors open and the coal cart fell directly onto him, killing him instantly.

Robert was my great-grandfather. I recently had this story recounted to me again and, with my own 12-year-old son beside me, it caused me to reflect on what Robert’s death meant to his 12-year-old son Bobby that day. From the moment his father was killed, Bobby immediately became the male head of the family, sole breadwinner and role model to his 7 siblings whilst still attending school full time so that his family wouldn’t be sent to the dreaded workhouse.

How did he do this we ask? How did he cope with this burden combined with undoubted grief? Did he have emotional and physical exhaustion? Undoubtedly. In this dire situation there was no social security or counselling services. The only government benefits system was the workhouse, which was to be avoided at all costs as life there was exceedingly tough, and parents and children were mostly separated.

Bobby became part of the solution to their problem. Running 2 paper rounds before school and another after school, he worked long hours to bring money home to his family. Did Bobby do this because he naturally liked getting up early or delivering papers? Did he naturally know what to do to save a mother and 8 children from the workhouse or starvation? Not likely. He responded to a need when his mother invited him to be part of the solution . He responded by embarking on a journey of problem solving and discovery, dedicating his heart and hands to serve according to God’s purpose for those around him with the gifts he had been given at the age of 12.

This was the start of his working life and undoubtedly moulded him into the adult he went on to be a kind hearted and responsible husband, father and grandfather (the one I knew) who continued to use his heart and hands for others.

As both a Christian teacher and parent, I take a message away from stories like these. Not to say the lack of financial, physical or emotional support for children and families in 1937 is a society we want to return to, but the message is in allowing a child to be part of the response to a real-world problem, through which they are able to serve others and discover God’s gifts and purpose for them.

Parenting expert Michael Grose shares the following on the Independent Schools Victoria ‘The Parents’ website:

“Problem-solving is an under-rated skill shared by resilient children and adults…. the ability to solve your own problems is the basis of a child’s autonomy and self-efficacy.

When parents solve children’s problems for them, we not only increase their dependency on adults, we also teach kids to be afraid of making mistakes and to blame themselves for not being good enough…. this is fertile ground for anxiousness and depressive illness.”

In this age where kids are demonstrating less resilience than ever in response to life problems, how can we, as Christian educators and parents raise kids to be courageous problem-solvers rather than self-critical, low risk-takers? How can we encourage them to be active in using their gifts now for God’s purpose rather than assuming the adults around them will respond in each and every situation?

In a secondary staff devotion, we recently read through this modern-day translation of Psalm 24:3-6

Who are the ones who truly love and serve God?

They are the people who discover and live

Within the purpose for their lives.

They are the people whose hearts and hands

Are dedicated to His will for them.

They are the people who turn away from self-centred concerns

To live for those around them.

As the psalmist writes, we are called to discover and live in God’s purpose (truth discerning and purposeful learning), oriented towards others and their needs (community building, justice seeking and welcoming advocates). As Christian parents and educators, we need to encourage problem solving and risk taking for our children to flex their God given muscles and explore their giftedness and purpose.

Our children are never likely to face such a dire situation to solve that my grandfather did, nor would I want them to, but, depending on the age of the child, there are many simple ways to encourage problem solving with your child. Examples might range from requiring a child to find their own lost socks, to solve a dispute with a friend or requiring a teenager to (safely) find their own way home from an unknown location with $20 and no mobile phone! Let’s be risk takers ourselves in allowing these opportunities in the pursuit of building resilient kids that fulfil God’s plan for their lives.

Emma Allison

Head of Secondary

What's Happening in Our Community