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Highvale Secondary College Newsletter
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Healthy Minds @Highvale

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Shannon McCARTHY

Psychologist

 

 

Self-care for parents/carers

 

Being a parent/carer is one of the most meaningful yet challenging roles out there! Between navigating school schedules, extracurricular activities, work commitments, household tasks and supporting children emotionally, it can feel like there is very little time left for yourself.

 

In this edition of Healthy Minds at Highvale, the Wellbeing Team would like to gently remind our parents/caregivers of the importance of self-care.

 

What is self-care

Self-care refers to the intentional actions we take to support our physical, emotional, mental, and social wellbeing. While self-care is often associated with bubble baths and holidays, self-care is much more than that! 

 

Self-care includes:

  • Getting enough sleep
  • Eating regularly and nourishing your body
  • Moving your body in ways that feel good
  • Seeking support when you need it
  • Setting boundaries
  • Making time for rest and enjoyable activities
  • Attending to your own mental health

 

Self-care is about maintaining your capacity, not waiting until you are completely exhausted. 

 

Why is self-care important for parents/caregivers?

When parents are depleted, it becomes much harder to respond calmly, think clearly, and manage the ups and downs of family life.

 

Chronic stress or overwhelm can impact parents in many ways:

  • Physical impacts including fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, changes in sleep, lowered immune functioning

  • Mental (psychological) impacts including difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, racing thoughts

  • Emotional impacts including irritability, increased anxiety and depression, feeling flat, numb, or disconnected

  • Behavioural impacts including snapping at loved ones, withdrawing from others, overworking or procrastinating, using unhelpful coping strategies.

 

While stress is a normal (and important) part of life, prolonged stress can affect our wellbeing significantly.

 

How parent wellbeing impacts children and teenagers

Children and young people are highly attuned to the emotional climate of their home.

 

When parents are chronically stressed:

  • Tensions may escalate more quickly

  • Emotional reactions may feel bigger

  • Children may become anxious, withdrawn or dysregulated themselves

  • Children may feel disconnected from their parents

 

When parents are supported and regulated:

  • Children feel safer and more secure

  • Emotional modelling improves

  • Conflict is more likely to be repaired calmly

  • Young people learn healthy coping strategies

 

Supporting your own wellbeing is one of the most powerful protective factors you can provide for your child. You cannot pour from an empty cup!

 

Creating a simple self-care plan

Self-care works best when it is intentional, rather than accidental. We encourage parents to consider creating a small, realistic self-care plan.

 

Step 1: Notice Your Early Warning Signs

Consider the following:

  • How do you know when stress is building?

  • What are your physical, emotional, or behavioural cues?

    • E.g., increased muscle tension, more teary, withdrawing from friends and family

 

Step 2: Identify your "non-negotiables"

Consider:

  • What keeps you functioning well?

    • E.g., 7-8 hours of sleep, short walk most days, weekly/fortnightly catch up with a friend, quiet time alone or with your partner after the children are in bed, cooking your favourite meal once a week, not cooking on a Friday after a long week of work?

 

Step 3: Start small

Choose one or two achievable actions this week. Sustainable self-care is better than overly ambitious plans that create more pressure.

 

Some ideas to get you started are:

  • Listen to a new podcast
  • Enjoy a meal outdoors
  • Listen to rainforest sounds on your phone at bedtime
  • Write down three things that made you smile today
  • Go outside at night and stargaze
  • Create a playlist of your favourite music
  • Spend time with animals
  • Complete a 20-minute workout on YouTube in your loungeroom
  • Press mute on that group text that has been causing you stress
  • Do some deep breathing
  • Go to bed an hour earlier
  • Work in the garden or engage in another activity that you enjoy

 

Step 4: Build small moments of regulation

Even 2-5 minutes of regulation can help:

  • Slow breathing (in for 4, out for 6)
  • Sitting outside in sunlight
  • A short stretch
  • Listening to one favourite song
  • Drinking a cup of tea without multitasking
  • Building in a "pause" before you enter the home after work

 

Step 5: Ask for help

Lean on partners, family, friends, or professionals when needed.

 

A final gentle reminder

Self-care is not selfish. It models balance, boundaries, and emotional awareness for your children. It supports your nervous system so you can show up for yourself and child in the ways that matter most.

 

If you are feeling persistently overwhelmed, anxious or low, please reach out to your GP or a mental health professional for support. The Wellbeing Team is also here to guide families towards appropriate supports when needed.

 

Caring for yourself is a big part of caring for your child!

 

Warmly,

The Wellbeing Team

 

Support available for parents and carers: