Wellbeing Centre Newsletter

How do you check in with your child?

Sometimes, a simple check-in can tell us a lot about how our children are feeling. We often focus on identifying and talking about emotions, but this isn’t always easy. Children—and even adults—don’t always have the words to explain exactly what they are feeling or why they feel that way. Using something as simple as an energy scale and thumbs up, thumbs down, or somewhere in between provides a quick, low-pressure way to check in without turning it into a big, deep and meaningful conversation. Many of our students already use this energy-level check-in at school, either in their classrooms or as part of their day, and it can be just as useful at home.

Once we know where our child is sitting on the grid, we can gently explore what might help lift their energy, lower their energy, improve their mood, or simply talk about what has happened during their day to leave them feeling that way. Sometimes, they may want to make a change, and sometimes they may be perfectly happy to stay right where they are on the grid. The beauty of this approach is that it is quick, simple and low-pressure, while still giving us valuable information about how our children are travelling and creating an opportunity to connect. It can easily be done in the car, and it’s an easy one to brainstorm ideas around.

Some useful lines for you to use when talking to your child. 

“Your energy is up—what could help your body come down a few levels? Rather than what will calm you down. Or if the energy is down  “What might help to lift or increase your energy?” rather than telling them to “cheer up.

When checking in on how they are feeling emotionally try asking  “Are we are “thumbs up, thumbs down or somewhere in between?”   Wording it this way avoids making your child feel they have to be either happy or sad.  We know feelings are much more complicated than that and sometimes “I don’t know” is a perfectly valid answer.