Wellbeing

Let Them Have a Go! Helping Children Become Independent

As parents and carers, we all want the best for our children. It can be tempting to do things for them because it is quicker, easier and sometimes less stressful. Whether it is tying shoelaces, packing a school bag, opening a lunchbox or solving a friendship problem, stepping in can feel like the right thing to do. However, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the opportunity to do things for themselves.

Independence doesn't happen overnight. It grows through practice, patience and the confidence that comes from having a go.

Little jobs, big lessons

Everyday routines provide wonderful opportunities for children to develop independence. Encouraging your child to get dressed, organise their belongings, pack their school bag, pour a drink or tidy up after an activity helps build important life skills.

These small tasks also develop problem-solving, decision-making, responsibility and resilience. Children begin to understand that they are capable of managing challenges and that making mistakes is a normal part of learning.

At school, we see the benefits when children take responsibility for their learning materials, follow classroom routines, ask for help when needed and attempt tasks before looking to an adult for assistance.

It's okay if it takes longer!

Allowing children to do things independently can take extra time, especially when everyone is rushing out the door in the morning. It may be quicker to zip the jacket, pack the bag or finish the task ourselves, but giving children time to practise is an investment in their future independence.

Instead of immediately stepping in, try pausing and asking, “What could you try?” or “What do you think you need to do next?” These simple questions encourage children to think for themselves and develop confidence in their own abilities.

Remember, the goal isn't perfection. A crookedly packed lunchbox or a jumper put on backwards can be part of the learning process!

Encourage effort, not just success

Children need to know that trying is just as important as getting something right. Praise their effort, persistence and willingness to have a go, even when the outcome isn't perfect.

You might say:

• “I noticed you kept trying even when it was tricky.”
• “You worked that out yourself. Well done!”
• “What could you try differently next time?”

• “You should feel proud of how you handled that.”

   

When children experience success through their own efforts, they begin to develop a stronger belief in their abilities.

Supporting independence at home and school

Here are a few simple ways families can encourage independence:

• Give them responsibility: Let children complete age-appropriate jobs around the home.
• Allow time to practise: Build extra time into morning routines so children can manage their own belongings.
• Encourage problem-solving: Give children the opportunity to think of solutions before stepping in.
• Teach them to ask for help: Independence doesn't mean doing everything alone. Knowing when and how to seek help is an important life skill.

• Be patient: Learning takes time, repetition and plenty of encouragement.

   

Of course, children still need guidance, supervision and support appropriate to their age and abilities. Some tasks may need to be broken into smaller steps, and some children will need more assistance than others. The key is to provide enough support for success while gradually allowing them to take on more responsibility.

A little independence goes a long way

Our children won't always get things right the first time, and that's okay. Every opportunity to practise, make a decision, solve a problem or take responsibility helps prepare them for the challenges ahead.

So, the next time your child says, “I can do it myself!”, take a breath, offer some encouragement and give them a chance.

Sometimes the best way to help our children grow is to step back, give them a little time and let them have a go.

Together, home and school can help children develop the confidence, resilience and independence they need to thrive.