Checking In With Your Teen: Why It Matters for Parents

As young people move through Years 7 and 8, it is natural for them to become more independent. They may spend more time with friends, want greater privacy and share less about their day than they once did. For parents and carers, this can sometimes make it difficult to know what is happening in their young person's world. Regular check-ins are a simple way to stay connected and they can be just as valuable for parents as they are for teenagers.

Stay Connected as They Become More Independent

Your teen may not need you in quite the same way they did when they were younger, but your relationship with them remains incredibly important. Small, regular conversations help parents stay connected without taking away a young person's growing independence. They also create opportunities to learn about their friendships, interests, challenges and the things that are important to them.

Understand What's Really Going On

Teenagers don't always volunteer when something is worrying them. Regular conversations can give parents valuable insight into how their young person is coping socially, emotionally and academically. Rather than waiting until there is a problem, checking in regularly can help you notice when something has changed and provide support earlier.

Build Trust for the Bigger Conversations

Not every check-in needs to be serious. Talking about the funny, frustrating and ordinary parts of your teen's day helps build a foundation for the conversations that really matter. When young people know they can talk to a parent without immediately being judged, criticised or given a solution, they may be more likely to reach out when they are dealing with something difficult.

Take Some of the Guesswork Out of Parenting

It can be hard to know whether your teen is simply having a bad day or whether something more significant is happening. Regular check-ins can help parents better understand their teen's usual moods, friendships and routines. This makes it easier to recognise changes that may need some extra attention or support.

Questions That Can Help Get Them Talking

Try moving beyond “How was school?” and asking:

What's been the best part of your week?
What's been the hardest part?
How are things going with your friends?
Is there anything at school that's been stressing you out lately?
What's taking up most of your headspace at the moment?
What are you looking forward to?
Do you want me to listen, help you work it out, or give you some space?
What's one thing I could do that would be helpful right now?

Keep It Simple

Check-ins don't need to be formal conversations around the dinner table. Some of the best conversations happen in the car, while walking the dog, preparing dinner or doing something together. Your teen may not always want to talk and that's okay. Continuing to show interest and letting them know “I'm here when you need me” keeps the door open. For parents, staying connected doesn't mean knowing everything that is happening in your teenager's life. It means creating a relationship where, when something important does happen, they know they have somewhere safe to turn.

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