Tips for Parents: Encouraging Help-Seeking at School
By embedding a robust help-seeking culture into early education, schools equip students with the essential tools to advocate for their own learning and mental wellness throughout their lives. ‘Seeking help is important because it can foster children and young people’s mental health and wellbeing.’ Be You Help Seeking for Children and Young People in Schools.
‘When primary schools build a community where asking for assistance with daily anxieties, peer conflicts, or learning delays is normalized, children are far more likely to access crucial care later in life.’ Be You Help Seeking for Children and Young People in Schools.
It is common for primary school children to bottle up their problems all day and wait until they get home to let it out. This often happens because school feels too busy or overwhelming, they fear drawing attention to themselves in front of peers, or home is the place they feel safe enough to fully unpack their emotions.
While it is incredibly important for students to speak openly with their parents about their worries, we also want them to build strategies to seek help independently at school. Encouraging children to ask for help while they are physically at school is critical because it ensures issues are addressed in real-time, preventing minor misunderstandings or learning gaps from snowballing into major anxieties by the end of the day. When students wait until they get home to share a problem, valuable context is lost, and teachers miss the immediate opportunity to intervene, redirect a social situation, or clarify a lesson.
Encouraging your child to ask for help starts with normalizing vulnerability and praising their problem-solving efforts. When children feel safe to admit they are stuck, they build the confidence needed to advocate for themselves both inside and outside the classroom.
How parents can help build help-seeking skills
To reinforce these strategies at home and encourage your child to seek help, consider these approach tips:
Validate their feelings first: Acknowledge their emotional pain before jumping into problem-solving. Saying, "That sounds really hurtful and lonely," makes them feel heard, whereas trying to fix it immediately can accidentally minimize their experience.
Respond with calm curiosity: Keep your emotions steady when they share a difficult social situation so they feel relieved and comforted rather than questioned.
Talk side-by-side: Bring up or listen to worries during low-pressure moments like car rides, walks, or baking together, which makes eye contact less intense and conversation easier.
Validate their feelings first: Acknowledge their emotional pain before trying to fix it by saying, "That sounds really hurtful and lonely," rather than minimizing the problem.
Map out safe adults together: Help your child identify specific, trusted people they can approach when you aren't around. Name them clearly, such as their classroom teacher, a yard duty teacher in a hi-vis vest, or leadership staff.
Roleplay the conversation: Practise what to say in a safe environment. Let them practice saying simple phrases out loud, like, "Mrs. Smith, I’m having trouble with a game in the yard, can you help me?"
Support for parents: why it’s important and where to find it
Parenting is a demanding role, and looking after your own physical, mental, and emotional health is essential for both your wellbeing and your ability to support your children. Anessential part of looking after yourself is getting support for your parenting. For more information please see Raising Kids Network- Support for parents:Why it’s important and where to find it