Masculinity - Where To Now?

Many of your sons, though more likely daughters, have probably viewed the latest season of Heartbreak High on Netflix. The central story that dominates the eight episodes is around the battle between “woke” culture and a defence of masculinity in the face of an onslaught of criticism that some males believe they endure at the hand of what some call, “wokeness”.

The series playfully explores the extremes of these views to highlight some of the inadequacies on both sides of the divide. In doing so, the writers explore how a vacuum exists around identity formation for young people which is often filled by the loudest, glitziest and most extreme of views. Leaving young people torn and damaged and confused - the burning school a fitting metaphor at the end of the season.

Today the media swells with stories of males committing domestic violence and murdering partners at the horrifying rate of one woman every four days in Australia this year. The Brittany Higgins-Bruce Lehrmann trial has consumed headlines for the last few years and, more recently, the Bondi massacre where women were clearly the targets of a man undergoing a psychotic episode was followed days later by a young male launching a frenzied knife attack at a Western Sydney church topped off by rioting males attacking paramedics and police vehicles in a fit of rage. Plus, daily reports of youth crime (aka young males) breaking and entering and then uploading to Tik Tok their wild spree in stolen vehicles while others engage in conflicts resulting in bloodied footpaths and sometimes death. Older males involved in gang related crime are much more deadly, using firearms to extinguish opposition and any unfortunates who get in their way. As a young person, constantly exposed to this milieu of stories, one can only conclude that there is something very broken about males.

Then there is the overarching narrative that outlines how ‘toxic’ males are through the concept that male power/patriarchy is destroying the world - simply look at Putin, Trump, Netanyahu, Xi Jingping or Kim Jong Un to see some of the more high profile examples. Males have most of the wealth and have caused most of the damage to the planet through their rapacious greed and innate desire to control everything of worth. Faced with such a dominant, persistent and consistent narrative one has to ask - how does a young male develop or find a positive sense of self? An identity that gives them purpose or meaning in life?

The most intriguing contradiction to the narrative that males have it all are some of the more concerning social statistics surrounding males in Australia:

Death by suicide occurs at a rate of three times greater for males than females in Australia
92% of people in prisons are male
72% of road fatalities are male
60% of the homeless are male
More females complete high school and attend university than males
Compared to women, Australian men not only see their GP less often, but when they do access a health professional it is for shorter consultations, and typically when a condition or illness is advanced. Males on average die earlier than females.

As Heartbreak High explores, when faced with a narrative that seemingly condemns their very essence, males find voices that reassert their legitimacy in being male. This tends to explain why so many young men come under the spell of self-styled gurus like the odious Andrew Tate or modern day oracles like Jordan Peterson. Loud voices that proclaim, at least in the case of Tate, a deranged version of masculinity more akin to a video game world.

I have previously referenced Jonathan Haidt’s work who has recently published a book on the ills of smartphones combined with childhood – The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. He argues that there is plenty of evidence that social media is damaging for young people and in the Sydney Morning Herald, Jacqueline Maley also explains, “for boys, the internet presents different dangers. While girls might be too invested online, for boys, the internet is a pathway to opting out. They do this through pornography and video games, which facilitate ‘the gradual withdrawal of boys from effort in the real world’. ‘We’re not seeing boys really applying themselves in the real world — we’re seeing them apply themselves in the virtual world,’ Haidt says.

‘They’re investing their time, their efforts into things that don’t pay off in the long run.’ The appeal is obvious – porn and gaming are virtual opiates where your mastery is complete. In both, you are in control, or your male avatar is, and you can construct a fantasy-reality without having to consult, or please, the people around you – the women around you.”

In a new play titled Trophy Boys, by 23 year old Emmanuelle Mattanna, a former Sydney Girls High Debating champion, she explores the challenges young males face growing up. Rather than adopting a simplistic approach to gender roles, her play tries to grapple with the complexities that exist. Trophy Boys is incisive on how ordinary they look, and on how destructive but normalised gendered behaviour, reinforced through socialisation, always plays a role.

‘‘The boys are victims of the patriarchy as much as they’re perpetrators of it,’’ Mattana says. ‘‘The tragedy is that these boys are all performing a rigid kind of masculinity because they think it protects them or keeps them safe, or they think it allows them to repress their feelings, or their homosexuality, or that they’ll step into a power that society tells them they will have if they act this way.’’

And so I return to the question: how does a young male develop or find a healthy sense of self in this context? An identity that enables them and those around them to have a purposeful or meaningful life? A recent article in the New York Times tried to grapple with this question. David French wrote about a book titled The Pursuit of Happiness by Jeffrey Rosen, and it’s not a self-help book, nor is it a guide for young men. But it does contain a superior moral vision for the good life.

The core argument of the book is that the phrase “pursuit of happiness” — Thomas Jefferson’s memorable phrase in the Declaration of Independence — is fundamentally misunderstood. We think of happiness as the pursuit of pleasure, Rosen writes, “but classical and Enlightenment thinkers defined happiness as the pursuit of virtue — as being good, rather than feeling good.”

As Rosen writes, “The classical definition of the pursuit of happiness meant being a lifelong learner, with a commitment to practising the daily habits that lead to character improvement, self-mastery, flourishing and growth.” The emphasis is on the word “lifelong” — the pursuit of happiness is a quest, not a destination, in part because we are always a work in progress, even to our last days.

With this in mind, I believe that we are on the right track in trying to instil in our students the values and approach to life that will support the development of a healthy and positive adult identity where being a good, kind, generous person is paramount.

The schools in the Armidale Catholic Diocese are driven by the mission “to improve the faith, learning and wellbeing outcomes for our young people and our communities as all of us work together to ensure literate and numerate students for a hope-filled future.” The phrase ‘hope-filled future’ is used repeatedly throughout our documents, our meetings and our schools. Added to this has been Living Well Learning Well, our student support framework that expresses the human dignity of each person, striving to ensure each person feels safe, is valued, cared for and respected and is a learner.

By instilling students with these values and approaches to living, we are doing the work of what French and Rosen are arguing: “to fill the hole in the hearts of our children, to provide them with a purpose that is infinitely more satisfying than the ambition and rebellion that define the ethos of the gurus who are leading so many young men astray.”

When home and school constantly reinforce that everyone should be valued, everyone should be cared for and everyone should be respected, that life is a constant journey of learning about being a better person, then we should be well on the way to creating a community where all feel deservedly safe.

Mick Larkin

Assistant Principal - Pastoral Care

P&F Association