How fabulous it is to have everyone back on-site! Thank you to everyone for their efforts, contributing to a smooth transition from remote learning. It has been wonderful to see everyone and continue our work and learning together.

MISUNDERSTOOD, UNKIND or bullying?

Bullying is not a foreign topic within schools. In fact bullying has been an area of focus among many schools across Australia. We would have seen many campaigns over recent years in an effort to minimise or end bullying and such campaigns should be commended for shining a light on bullying and keeping it on our agendas. Although, like all campaigns, campaigns often come and go in waves and are short lived. So what else can we be doing day-to-day, on the ground, in an effort to tackle bullying?

We’re often left feeling powerless hearing of someone else’s unpleasant encounter with another person and sometimes these unpleasant encounters can be used as examples of bullying. While bullying should never be trivialised, it is important for us to first decipher whether interactions are a simple misunderstanding, an act of unkind behaviour, or in fact intentional and repeated bullying. The Wellbeing Team have attached a link to an enlightening article which discusses these concepts in more detail. The article linked below is titled ‘Not all unkindness is bullying. Here’s why we need to teach our kids to differentiate.’ We include one excerpt for your interest.

"Unkindness is not bullying. Sarcasm is not bullying….Someone can be insensitive, thoughtless, immature, mean and even aggressive without it being bullying. And it’s important to make sure children understand that. Here’s why: For the rest of their lives, our children’s happiness at home and success at work will be determined by how well they can navigate relationships and resolve difficult issues. If we write every unpleasant encounter off as bullying, we don’t prepare them well."

From :

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2018/08/16/not-all-unkindness-is-bullying-heres-why-we-need-to-teach-kids-to-differentiate/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.7cb8f765ab9f

The Wellbeing Team have compiled some suggestions on how a parent may respond to reports of unpleasant interactions, and also strategies that students may use in responding to unpleasant interactions. It is important, however, to note that this is a general and non-exhaustive list of strategies so there may be people who have other ideas too, such as the Wellbeing Team, a Head of House, a Pastoral Group Leader, a teacher, a family member or friend.

Some additional resources may include:

How to Stop a Bully Video Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oKjW1OIjuw&disable_polymer=true

Bullying No way Website: https://bullyingnoway.gov.au/

Kids HelpLine: https://kidshelpline.com.au/ - phone or a web chat at any time.

Responding to someone’s encounter of misunderstood, unkind or bullying behaviour

When responding to an unpleasant interaction of any nature it can be useful to use one consistent approach. Although sometimes using one single approach doesn’t get the message across, or does not adequately address the problem. Remember that everyone, even ourselves, learn how to socialise and interact through feedback and experience, and we all need people to remind us when we have crossed the line or acted inappropriately. Therefore in any unpleasant interaction using a variety of approaches can be beneficial. For example, if we only use the strategy of ignoring or walking away, the other person receives little feedback that their interactions are hurtful, and we can de-skill ourselves of developing new strategies that may work. If we had approached a situation, we may find out that the person didn’t intend to be hurtful and is apologetic.

· Avoid having an emotional reaction. An emotional reaction can increase your child’s feeling of being overwhelmed, and also heighten their fear and emotion around the situation.

· Acknowledge the encounter - “I can see that this has upset you…”

· Validate the child’s emotions around the encounter - “...and that it wouldn’t have felt very nice for you.”

· Comfort and support your child initially and judge when your child is rational enough to engage with the following concepts.

· Don’t come to conclusions straight away. Calmly ask questions to get a ‘fuller’ understanding of the interaction. It is then easier to determine the nature of the interaction. “Is this the first time that this has happened?” “What do you think their intention was?” or “Is it possible that they didn’t realise you’d be this hurt by their actions?

· Empower your child. Don’t take the power of ‘standing up’ away from your child. Try to encourage your child to feel that they have power to create change in the situation – “What are your choices in how to respond?” “What did/can you do?” “How did/could you respond?”

· Give your child strategies and ideas of how to respond both in the moment and in following-up:

- Calling it out - “Hey, that’s not cool” “That’s actually nasty” “That’s not nice”

- Address it later - “I just wanted to let you know that when you snapped at me yesterday in front of the class, it made me feel embarrassed. I’d really like it if you let me know privately if I’ve annoyed you.”

- Using humour - “Ha ha you don’t like my ears? But if I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be able to hear you making fun of me!”

- Deflecting back - “Really, you don’t like my hair? I even washed it last night thinking how shiny it would be today! What shampoo do you use?”

- Discourage the person (without being unkind in return) – “Okay, whatever.” “Yeah, if you think that’s what it is.” “You are pretty smart so I’m sure you’d know.”

- Use kindness/compliments - “I appreciate your honesty.” “You have nice eyes.” “Thanks for sharing that”.

- Walk away – sometimes no words are more powerful.

- Be aware of your body language – it makes up 55 percent of the messages we send to people, it shows if we are passive and likely to say nothing, or assertive and likely to stand up for ourselves.

- Tell someone - a teacher, your Head of House, a family member or a friend that might be helpful.

· Have devices down time of an evening and/or through sleep time. This allows your child to have time free of interacting and time for their brains to recover, relax, and to continue growing.

SCHOOLTV

Special Report ~ Coronavirus: The Transition Back

Unfortunately, the reality of COVID-19 is not quite over and there is still a considerable amount of uncertainty. We have all experienced this event together and we are at various levels of transition and adjustment across Australia and New Zealand. The circumstances of this situation have significantly impacted students, parents and teachers alike.

Emotions during this time have varied. For some it has been an opportunity to reflect on what is important, whilst others have embraced the opportunity to learn new things. One thing that has remained constant - the need for good parenting and supportive teachers. Both of which offer young people stability and familiarity, and are vitally important during this time of transition and adjustment.

Whilst many children may be excited at the prospect of lockdown restrictions being lifted, others may feel mixed emotions. Each child’s reaction will differ depending on how well they cope with stress and change. As we all adjust to new routines, it will be vitally important to keep a check on our young people’s mental health and wellbeing. Encourage them to focus on the things they enjoy and value in order for them to remain motivated and ensure their sense of belonging.

The link for SchoolTV and this special report on Wellbeing is available on PAM/SIMON, our website and below.

Don’t forget to check out the range of special reports and resources available on SchoolTV. We would also love to hear your feedback!

https://sje.vic.schooltv.me/launch

WEAR OUR UNIFORM WITH PRIDE!

A reminder as we return to on-site learning (and considerably colder weather!) to wear our uniform with pride. Please remember non-uniform items (including beanies and hoodies or alternative jumpers) are not acceptable. Please let your House Leader or Wellbeing Team members know if you are having difficulty or require some assistance with accessing uniform items. If you have items of uniform that are no longer needed and are willing to donate them to the school, they will be gratefully accepted!

St Joseph's College, Echuca

Issue 9 · 11 Jun 2020

In this issue