Wellbeing

How to Build a Positive Relationship With Your Child’s Teacher (And Why It Matters More Than You Think)

The start of a new school year is full of emotion.

There’s excitement. Nervous energy. Hope that this year will be better than the last one. And underneath it all, a quiet question:

Will my child be okay at school this year?

One of the biggest influences on how a school year unfolds isn’t the classroom, the curriculum, or the teacher. It’s the relationship between parents and teachers.

Why the Parent–Teacher Relationship Matters So Much

Teachers don’t just teach content. They manage classrooms, behaviours, emotions, learning needs, and expectations — often for 25–30+ children at a time.

One of the biggest sources of stress for teachers isn’t student behaviour alone, but parent interactions. Many teachers report being yelled at, sworn at, or verbally abused by parents. A significant number consider leaving the profession because of it.

That’s confronting — especially when most parents are simply trying to advocate for their child.

But when we stop being adversaries and parents and teachers work with each other, children benefit: academically, socially, and emotionally.

Here’s how to build a strong, respectful relationship between school and home.

1. Look for Ways to Contribute

If there’s an opportunity to volunteer — reading groups, excursions, classroom help, library work — even occasionally, it makes a difference. When you can, showing up as someone who contributes (not just someone who needs something) changes the dynamic.

Teachers are more likely to connect with parents they’ve seen helping, supporting, and engaging with the school community.

2. Lead With Gratitude (Without Expecting Anything Back)

Everyone likes to feel appreciated — and teachers are no exception.

A simple note at the start of the year, a small coffee voucher, or even a message saying “We’re really grateful you’re teaching our child this year” can mean a lot.

Better still, when your child comes home sharing something positive that happened at school, pass that feedback on to the teacher. Let them know what they’re doing well and how it’s landing at home.

Gratitude isn’t bribery. It’s recognition. And recognition builds goodwill that carries you through harder conversations later.

3. Don’t Believe Everything You Hear

Children tell their stories from their perspective — which is valid, but incomplete.

When your child says, “My teacher is the worst,” slow down. Get curious. Consider the teacher’s point of view. The same goes for playground gossip or other parents’ opinions. A teacher with a tough reputation might turn out to be exactly the right fit for your child.

Be slow to judge. Quick to understand. And open to nuance.

4. Assume Positive Intent

Most teachers want your child to win. They want their students to feel safe, supported, and capable.

And teachers are also human. They have full classrooms, tight schedules, and limited time. Mistakes occur. Miscommunication happens.

When issues arise, approaching the conversation with calm, respect, and the assumption of positive intent makes a huge difference — for you, the teacher, and most importantly, your child.

What Parents Can Do This Year

If you want a practical starting point, try this:

• Look for one small way to contribute to the school community
• Express gratitude early and occasionally
• Share positive feedback, not just concerns
• Hold your child’s stories gently and seek context
• Treat teachers as allies, not obstacles
•  

You don’t need to do all of this perfectly.

But when parents and teachers stand on the same side, children feel it — and school becomes a safer, more supportive place to grow.

Author Dr Justin Coulson

Dr Justin Coulson is a dad to 6 daughters and grandfather to 1 granddaughter. He is the parenting expert and co-host of Channel 9’s Parental Guidance, and he and his wife host Australia’s #1 podcast for parents and family: The Happy Families podcast. He has written 9 books about families and parenting. For further details visit www.happyfamilies.com.au.

If you have any questions about Student Wellbeing at St Cecilia's please contact:

Pauline Kilduff, Student Wellbeing Leader paulinek@scgleniris.catholic.edu.au OR

Kate Sutherland, Learning Diversity Leader ksutherland@scgleniris.catholic.edu.au