The Fathering Project

Dad-proof tip: Be a role model of strength and resilience for your child

Children often see their fathers  as a solid foundation and make them feel safe and secure. Because of this, they are a strong role model for building resilience and confidence in their children.

Children are watching your every move and they look to their father to understand how to deal with and react to everyday situations, especially the more difficult and challenging ones.

By modelling resilience in your own life, you teach your children how to appropriately do the same. As they move through their childhood into their teen years, and then adulthood, they will be better equipped to cope with life’s challenges.

What is resilience?

It is our ability to cope with change and challenge and to bounce back in difficult and stressful times that they will encounter through-out their life.

Resilience and kids

It is important to know that some children are naturally more resilient than others, their temperament allows them to deal with problems, difficulties or disappointments and recover without too much fuss or bother.

However, not every child will have this natural resilience and will need your support as a father, father figure or parent to help build skills and confidence to deal with life’s challenges and recover to move forward.

 Top tips  supporting resilience in your children:

1. Demonstrate a positive attitude towards your own challenges. Talk about them as opportunities to learn and improve.
2. Support their sense of self. Help them to develop a positive sense of who they are, how they feel about themselves and what they can do.
3. Build coping skills. Talk to your child about how to develop strategies for dealing with difficult situations.
4. Help them to find solutions to problems. Ask questions like, “What could you do?” and “What do you think?” and try not to always solve the problem for them.
5. Allow them to take on healthy challenges and risks. Provide opportunities for them to build confidence by taking on challenges and encourage them to work through problems and dilemmas.
6. Help them to take on responsibilities. Start with the basics like caring for their own belongings, making their own bed, chores e.g. feeding the pets. This builds their sense that they are capable.

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