Over the holidays I lost my father after a short fight with cancer and it is hard at any age. Many of our students lose grandparents or loved pets. Below is some information to support families if and when this occurs.

Supporting Children Through Grief and Loss

Grief is something that many children will experience at some point in their lives. It may be the loss of a grandparent or family member, a friend, a much-loved pet, or another significant change such as moving house, changing schools or losing an important friendship. Children can experience grief in many different ways, and there is no single “right” way to grieve.

Children may feel sad, angry, worried, confused, frightened or lonely. Some children cry and want to talk, while others may become quiet, clingy or show their feelings through play, drawing or changes in behaviour. They may also seem happy and want to play soon after receiving sad news. This is completely normal. Children can move in and out of their grief and may revisit their feelings over time.

How can parents help?

Talk openly and honestly. Use clear, age-appropriate language and give children opportunities to ask questions. Using words such as “died” rather than phrases such as “gone to sleep” can help avoid confusion or fear.

Let children express their feelings. Reassure them that it is OK to cry, feel angry, miss someone or even have fun and laugh while they are grieving.

Listen more than you try to fix. Sometimes children simply need someone to sit with them, listen and provide a cuddle or reassurance.

Keep routines as normal as possible. Familiar routines around school, meals, bedtime, activities and friendships can help children feel safe and secure during a time of change.

Create opportunities to remember. Looking at photographs, creating a memory box, drawing a picture, writing a letter or sharing favourite memories can help children maintain a positive connection with the person or pet they have lost.

Let school know. If your child is experiencing grief or loss, please let your child's teacher or the school know. This allows us to provide extra understanding, care and support while your child is at school.

Most importantly, children need to know that their feelings are safe to share and that the adults around them will continue to care for them. It is also okay for children to see adults experiencing sadness. Seeing adults acknowledge their own feelings in healthy ways can help children learn that grief is a natural part of life.

If you are concerned about how your child is coping, speak with your GP, child and family health nurse or school wellbeing staff. Additional support is available through Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.

Australian resources:

Jenny Willmott

Principal

MACSeye