Dear Parents and Carers,

Thank you for your continued support and cooperation as we work together to ensure the safety and wellbeing of all students at St Margaret Mary’s. This fortnight I’d like to share a few important updates and a practical article from Michael Grose on building a positive family atmosphere.

Kiss and Go – Morning Drop-Off

Thank you for your understanding with the revised morning Kiss and Go arrangements. We appreciate your flexibility as we continue to refine this process to keep things running smoothly and safely.

To assist with visibility and safety, the school will continue to place witches hats and the School Zone sign each morning to alert other motorists that parents may be stopping. A friendly reminder to please switch on your hazard lights as you pull into the drop-off zone, and if your child needs help getting out of the car, we ask that you park and assist them safely.

Student Attendance

We’d like to remind all families that students are expected to be at school by 8:50 am each day. Regular attendance is vital for learning and wellbeing, and we monitor it closely.

If your child’s attendance becomes a concern, you will be contacted by the school. Please note that medical appointments during school hours are recorded as partial explained absences, and travel exemptions, even when approved, are also recorded as absences.

For further details, please refer to Mrs Guardascione’s Assistant Principal’s Report, which outlines our attendance expectations and procedures.

Facilities Update

We’re pleased to share that Sydney Catholic Schools is now investigating the issue of lifting pavers on the bottom playground, with the aim of reducing the risk of slips, trips, and falls. In addition, we are currently obtaining quotes to refresh the toilets on the top playground. These upgrades are part of our ongoing commitment to maintaining safe and welcoming facilities for all students.

Thank you again for your partnership and support. If you have any questions or feedback, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Warm Regards,

Kylie O'Donnell

Build a Positive Family Atmosphere That Your Kids Will Love

By Michael Grose

Strong families thrive on……..good feelings.

That doesn’t mean that such families are devoid of conflict or criticism, but that they are generally pleasant environments to be part of. One way to boost positive feelings in your family is to increase the number of compliments kids hear at home. As a general rule, the ratio of compliments to criticism should be around five to one. That is, there should be five times more positive, affirming comments than negative comments.

In unhealthy families, this ratio is often reversed. Five negative comments for every one positive comment makes for a pretty toxic environment.

How does your family rate on this scale?

If you think about how your family might rate on this scale, be careful about how much weight you put on your children’s comments, especially to each other. Siblings can be unkind to each other, struggling to share a kind word, which can significantly skew the positive-to-negative ratio (and sometimes make family life quite awful for everyone). However, this can change over time. That’s why building a positive family atmosphere is so important. It’s building good feelings on steroids.

Here are Six Tools to build a fabulous atmosphere in your family:

1. Increase your number of affirmations and compliments.

Affirmations, along with affectionate phrases and kind remarks, will begin to shift the negative balance to the positive. Aim for a seven-to-one ratio of positive to negative interactions. Not only is this good modelling for your kids, but it will also make family life more harmonious by creating a more supportive and encouraging atmosphere. This isn't about ignoring problems; it's about making sure that the good stuff far outweighs the bad.

2. Keep a check on your use of ‘good feeling killers’ (and self-esteem killers).

Avoid comments like, “Typical boy!” “If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a 1,000 times, don’t…” or “What a stupid thing to say to your brother/sister!”

Bite your tongue. If you catch yourself thinking a criticism, keep it to yourself. This kind of negative framing can be incredibly damaging to a child's self-worth and creates unnecessary friction within the family. Instead, take a moment to rephrase your thoughts into constructive feedback or, if it's not a big deal, let it go completely.

3. Make kids aware of their language.

Remind kids of the potential harm to self-esteem, not to mention family harmony, that constant criticism can cause. Use ‘I’ statements to let kids understand the impact their negative talk has on you. For example, you could say, "When you talk so aggressively, I feel quite scared about what you are going to do next." This approach makes it clear that their words have real consequences for others' feelings.

Kids can't disagree with 'I' statements because you're simply sharing your own feelings, not making a judgement about them. This helps them learn empathy and gives them a clear path to changing their behaviour without feeling attacked.

4. Make it a habit to follow a negative with a positive.

When I was teaching, I always tried to follow a student's discipline with a compliment or some positive feedback so that we could maintain a good relationship. It’s a way of showing that while you might disapprove of a specific behaviour, you still value and respect the individual.

Do the same in your family. Follow discipline, a rebuke, or a negative comment with a positive act or comment. Then, teach your kids to do the same! This approach helps keep communication open and reinforces that your love and support are unconditional, even when you're correcting a mistake.

5. Let the bad feelings out.

Sometimes, there can be such a build-up of ill will between siblings that you need to find a way for them to let the bad feelings out. One way to do this is to let a child vent to you about their sibling. This needs to be done in a safe environment, with you guiding the way.

“What would you like to say to me about your brother?”

“I hate him. He’s always picking on me. He’s a +&%%$ !”

Be warned that you might not like what you hear, but clearing the air can do wonders for improving the family atmosphere.

6. The family that plays together…..

While it may sound a bit cliché, the old saying "the family that plays together stays together" holds a surprising amount of truth. As a family and parenting educator, I've seen firsthand how shared activities and playtime can strengthen family bonds. When you play together, you're not just having fun; you're creating a shared history of positive experiences. These moments build emotional capital, which you can draw on during more challenging times.

Play is also a fantastic way for parents to connect with their kids on their level, to see their personalities shine, and just to enjoy being with them without the pressure of discipline or daily chores. It's in these moments of shared laughter and low-stakes collaboration that families really become a team. Playing together fosters a sense of belonging and teaches kids that they're a valued part of something bigger than themselves.

Finally….

Building a family environment where everyone feels loved and valued isn't about eliminating all negative feelings. It's about ensuring the good stuff vastly outweighs the bad. By actively working on the ratio of positive to negative interactions, you can create a family atmosphere that is not only pleasant but also incredibly resilient.

Sport

Anna Kelly