Society is always taken by surprise at any new example of common sense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I remembered that quotation when reading about how a particular Primary school was dealing with the problem of fights between children in the playground. As teachers did their yard duties, they carried with them a box of ‘feeling faces.’ It wasn’t a cumbersome prop - merely a small box with pictures of faces representing all sorts of feelings: happy, laughing, smiling, serene, sad, angry, tearful, weary, bored, and so on.

Whenever the teacher came across an incident of conflict, he or she would say to the protagonists, “Take out of the box the ‘feeling face’ that shows what you feel at the moment.” The ‘feeling face’ that the child chose would then be discussed and explored as far as possible, so that each child had some appreciation of their own feelings in the situation and the feelings of the others involved. The article went on to say:

The teacher would then invite the children to select from the box another ‘feeling face’ to represent how they would prefer their feelings to be and engage them in thinking about how they could move themselves from the negative feeling state to a much more positive and enjoyable one. Apparently, the school was having excellent results from this eminently sensible approach to conflict management.

It’s interesting, isn’t it? The approach represents, in child-accessible form, exactly what adults know, but seem unable to practise.

The strategy used by that Primary school suggests four essential lessons. First of all, a timely reminder for every one of us:

Feelings are everywhere – be gentle.

J. Masai

Secondly, the obvious - we need to be aware of how our negative feelings often rule our thoughts and behaviour. Less obvious, perhaps, is the acknowledgement that they shouldn’t!

Thirdly, we often give too little thought to how our hurt or angered feelings affect those around us - when our feelings are always paramount, our hurts, our bitterness, our misfortune. Letting our negative feelings rule our lives can mould us into sadly self-absorbed and destructive people.

Fourthly, the most important… If we want to find a different path from that of following our negative feelings, we need to understand that it doesn’t have much to do with ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ If we are waiting for our feelings to be changed by our receiving from other people what we perceive to be our ‘due’, or ‘justice’, or ‘an appreciation of our worth,’ or whatever… we will wait in vain. That is the reality of human existence that must be faced.

Wronged we may remain; but with the right way of thinking, it just won’t matter anymore.

Radhika Pandit 8L

Radhika, with her mother, has written a book of poetry about their experiences and thoughts during COVID-19. The book titled ‘Get Lost Dirty Covid-19’ is available on Amazon Australia at

https://www.amazon.com.au/Get-Lost-Dirty-Covid-19/dp/0228838215/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1606211021&sr=8-14

We have purchased some for the school Library for all of us to share.

Ms Michelle Crofts

Principal of Matthew Flinders Girls

Our MFG Newsletter

Issue 6 · 09 Dec 2020

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