The 26-Storey Treehouse

The sequel to The 13-Storey Treehouse

PART 2 of 3

After Andy and Terry swim to the surface, Andy starts to tell how he and Terry met. But Terry thinks how they met were fairy tales — Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, and Cinderella. Andy agrees to tell the true story if Terry promises to be quiet for the next 15 pages.

The True Story:

Once upon a time, in a very big city in a very tall tower, there lived a lonely little boy (Terry) who had no friends. His parents thought friends were too dangerous — in fact, they thought everything was too dangerous.

They wouldn’t let him watch TV. He wasn’t allowed to play on the computer. He couldn’t play with any type of game or toy. The only thing the boy could entertain himself with were books — with non-sharp edges, hand-picked by his parents. He lived in a padded room, with a padded, non-falloutable bed, and a chair with airbags and a seatbelt.

The house was full of alarms — fire alarms, flood alarms, and many others. The boy (Terry) was even fitted with emergency inflatable underpants in case he fell into water. He also had to be put on an I.V. drip because his parents served all his meals cold.

One day, the cords for every alarm caught fire. So the boy grabbed his chair and threw it at the window, smashing it to pieces. Then, he jumped out. But he didn’t hit the ground and go kersplat. He hit a tree. Many bounces later, he landed in the water — and was saved by a boy in a swan-shaped pedal boat (Andy).

After Andy tells the story, it’s revealed that the boy in the tower was Terry, and the boy in the pedal boat was Andy. Terry asks why Andy was in a swan-shaped boat. Andy says it’s a long story. Terry says he loves long stories.

But Andy and Terry want ice cream — so they go to Edward Scooperhands. Andy orders a double scoop of Rocky Road, but Terry can’t decide, so he asks the reader to choose for him. Terry ends up ordering "one with the lot."

After many scoops, Terry's ice cream is ready. Andy tells him to eat it slowly to avoid brain freeze. Terry promises, while Andy continues the story.

Andy’s Backstory:

Once upon a time, there was a boy with very horrible parents. They had a bunch of rules: wear shoes, wear a hat when it’s sunny, a coat when it’s cold, comb his hair, and he couldn’t stay up as late as he wanted.

The boy (Andy) decided to run away from home. He wanted to do whatever he wanted: not wear a hat or coat, not comb his hair, not wear shoes, and so on. He found food by stealing it from others and was great at building shelters — especially treehouses. One day, while stealing food, he knocked over a table and was chased by an angry waiter. The boy ran to a lake, found pedal boats for hire, but had no money — so he stole one. But the "lake" was an outlet to the sea, and he floated for many nights until he found an island with two hills… which was actually Terry, floating in his inflatable underpants.

After the story, Terry and Andy reconcile. Terry says he likes stories with happy endings — but then Jill walks in with Captain Woodenhead’s wooden head and says it’s not the end.

Enter: The Pirates

They’re captured by the pre-mentioned pirate Captain Woodenhead and his motley crew. Jill asks what they should do with Woodenhead’s head. Terry says it would be perfect for a scarecrow — which they don’t have.

Jill makes fun of Terry and Andy: Terry looked like he was wearing a nappy (it was his deflated inflatable underpants), and Andy was crying (it was sea spray).

Terry asks why Jill was on Captain Woodenhead’s pirate ship. Jill begins her story:

Jill’s Story:

Once upon a time, there was a girl who wanted a pet, but her parents said no — not even to an ant. All they cared about was partying on their luxury yacht.

Jill, who could understand animals (like Eliza Thornberry), once saw a fish that smelled like old rotten cheese. Its name was Gorgonzola. She tried to tell the smelly fish not to eat the yacht, but she leaned too far and fell in the water. Gorgonzola swam right past her, and her voice was drowned out by champagne glasses and laughter.

She found an ice block — which is how Jill met every one of her animals. But all the animals made the ice block melt until it was as small as an ice cube. Terry asks if they all drowned. Jill says no — they saw a ship but were captured by Captain Woodenhead.

Back to the Present

Andy, Terry, Jill, and the animals were captured. The pirates made them peel potatoes, risk their lives repairing rigging, dig holes for treasure, and clean the poop deck. Terry says he hates pirates.

Captain Woodenhead overhears him, and an ALL OUT CUTLASS VS. MOP FIGHT!!! begins. (Airhorn sounds.)

A bunch of swipes later, Woodenhead’s head goes flying and gets eaten by sharks. His headless body decapitates his crew. Andy, Terry, Jill, and the animals jump off the plank into the ocean.

Jill speaks to the sharks, who chew through the ropes holding the pedal boat. They escape, being pulled by the sharks. But the pirates give chase, with Woodenhead now using a lampshade as a makeshift head.

Then, a storm hits — lightning, hailstones the size of baseballs, huge waves. The pedal boat is thrown around. It hits the rocks. Andy, Terry, Jill, and the animals survive. The pirate ship does not. It breaks into pieces.

Andy and Terry use the wreckage to build the first level of the treehouse. They also keep the sharks — because even though they’re scary, they’re also super cool. Jill finds an abandoned cottage for her animals.

To be continued……