Wellbeing Update

Gender and Identity

We’d like to take a moment to share something special. Today is Wear It Purple Day! As we prepare to acknowledge this important day as a school on Monday, we are honoured to share a piece of writing from Felix, a former Bell Primary student and valued member of our wider school community. In this piece, Felix openly and generously shares his lived experience as a young trans person.

Research consistently shows that when LGBTQIA+ young people feel understood and supported — by family, friends, schools and community — their mental health and wellbeing improve significantly. Felix’s story helps build exactly that kind of understanding. It reminds us that behind every statistic is a real person with a real story, and that small acts of listening and acceptance can make an enormous difference.

We thank Felix for his courage and generosity in sharing this piece with us.

“Hi! I'm a Bell Primary graduate, I left in 2021 and am currently in yr11; however, my younger brother is still in yr5. I quite like school and am hoping to study rural medicine at Monash upon completing yr12; outside of school I enjoy bush walking, going to the gym, cooking, and getting out with my friends. I came out as trans in 2023; for me that was being assigned female at birth but realising I feel more like a guy. Since then, I've undergone gender-affirming surgery and hormone replacement therapy. I've been extremely privileged in my transition, with all my friends, family, and community being extremely supportive.

After I came out, I started asking people to use different pronouns and a different name. I think this change is equal parts small and huge. I feel like this is oftentimes the first line of contention with people on trans things; people arguing over someone's 'actual' name or 'real' pronouns. I've always thought about it more as a respect thing than a conversation in any way. It's like when little kids play make-believe and you just go along with it, not because you necessarily think it's real but because it makes them smile and costs you nothing, so why wouldn't you? It's the same with trans people; who cares if you think it's right or wrong, they're saying it's real for them, and all you have to do is respect them enough to not care whether it might be technically right. It's just some words for you, but for them it's the difference between feeling safe and feeling ignored. You'll get it wrong sometimes, but it's the trying that matters. Also, correcting others when they get it wrong is something small you can do that makes a big difference for a trans person. It can get really exhausting having to awkwardly advocate for yourself constantly, especially when it's around something that is already quite distressing.

All that said, I can imagine that as a parent it would be really scary to have your kid come up and tell you that they think something you thought was fundamental about them is wrong. I think, though, it's best to take it slow and not jump to conclusions. Kids that are telling their parents they're trans aren't usually straight away asking for major medical interventions, and if they are, that's a conversation to be had with a medical professional. Often all they're asking is for you to use a different name and pronouns and maybe get some different clothes. But it's still the same kid; they still like the same things and will annoy you and make you proud in all the same ways. At the end of the day, your kid's just trying to do something that they think will make them feel more comfortable. Maybe they did find what was right for them, first try, and will stick with it for the rest of their lives. Or maybe they'll be back in 3 weeks telling you that they found a better term to describe how they feel. Just roll with it, because the words you use to identify them are probably quite a tiny part of how you see them as a whole.

Overall, I think, for me at least, being trans has societally become a way bigger thing than it needs to be. I think about it like having a bad back; it sometimes, especially in the past before I got medical help, hurt a lot, but it gets better. Sometimes it's a thing that needs to be discussed with my family, my friends, or my teachers, but ultimately, it's pretty benign; it's just a fact, a normal part of life, and, most importantly, to the rest of the world it should be pretty uncontentious and unimportant.”