R.E.S.P.E.C.T
Why values matter.
How do you get over 1,000 students aged 12-18 to rise and stand in absolute silence for a minute?
In all my years of teaching, I've never witnessed the perfect silence that fell over our school during our ANZAC Day assembly on April 22nd. It was an unprecedented moment in our school's history as over 1,000 students stood together in respect for our armed services and for those who fought at ANZAC cove. Having been to Gallipoli, as a part of a youthful adventure in Turkey, the quiet in our gymnasium reminded me of the absolute silence I experienced as I walked the beach trails of Gallipoli years ago.
For the very first time in the history of our College, all year levels were together for this important community occasion and guiding the assembly were the students who serve as cadets in in our local airforce cadet unit, their leadership shining through as they led their peers in honouring the ANZAC legacy.
So how do you encourage respectful behaviour? The simple answer is SWPB - School Wide Positive Behaviours. We have been developing and using the SWPB framework at our school for 6 years now. The focus of this framework is the proactive and consistent reinforcement of positive behaviours. We recognise that young people don't automatically know the expected behaviours and so we must teach them each day and reward them when they get it right and support them when they don't.
Reflecting on what is happening in the broader community in relation to violence against women, I believe that schools and parents/carers have a powerful role in supporting young people to be the best possible version of themselves. This is why we use the SWPB model and have a focus on creating young people of great character. We also run the Respectful Relationships curriculum through Health. We have zero tolerance for racism, sexism, homophobia and misogyny. We also don't tolerate overly aggressive pushing and shoving and 'play fighting'. Part of our education of our students is also around consent and sexual and personal relationships. This content is delivered by experts who we engage through our life skills program.
In light of the concerning trends in the broader community regarding violence against women, I firmly believe that schools, alongside parents and caregivers, play a central role in shaping young people. This conviction drives our use of the SWPB (School-Wide Positive Behavior) model and our belief in developing not just able learners but also young people of great character.
Embedded within our curriculum is the Respectful Relationships program, seamlessly integrated into our Health curriculum. Through this, we foster a culture of respect, empathy, and understanding, equipping students with the tools to navigate sometimes complex personal and social issue. As a school leader I maintain a steadfast stance against all forms of discrimination and aggression, whether it be racism, sexism, homophobia and misogyny.
Integral to our educational approach is the comprehensive approach to delivering our LIFESKILLS program. To ensure the best approach to addressing the needs of our students, we collaborate with experts within our program, delivering targeted age-appropriate content that empowers students to navigate interactions as they mature with sensitivity and responsibility
How you can help as parents:
Stop excusing poor behaviour by saying "boys will be boys!"
'Boys will be boys' is a phrase that I occasionally hear come out of parents' and teachers' mouths when we need to address inappropriate behaviours of some of our male students. Funnily enough, we rarely if ever hear the phrase 'girls will be girls' from parents and teachers.
The phrase "boys will be boys" is antiquated and no longer acceptable for numerous reasons. Firstly, it's essential to recognise that boys, like all individuals, are unique and cannot be categorised as a homogeneous group. Each person deserves to be judged based on their individual actions and character rather than being defined by their gender.
Secondly, excusing inappropriate behaviour by attributing it to gender is both harmful and unjustifiable. We cannot afford to condone misconduct simply because of someone's gender. Such reasoning perpetuates harmful stereotypes and undermines efforts toward gender equality.
At Sandringham College, we firmly reject the notion of prescribing specific behaviours based on gender. By focusing on the individual and promoting respect, empathy, and accountability, we strive to create a community where everyone is valued and held to the same standards, regardless of gender or identity.
What's happening online?
Last year I wrote a message to our school community about Andrew Tate whose controversial commentary and behaviour has resulted in his expulsions from various social media platforms and potential jail time.
I wrote to parents because I was deeply concerned to hear that there were some young males in our broader community who were emulating Tate and absorbing and articulating misogynistic views. People like Andrew Tate promote harmful attitudes towards women. We only have to look at the recent media around the actions of a groups of students in a private school, to recognise that we need to be mindful of social media and the harm it can do if not monitored.
It's just a game
The importance of conversations with young people around computer games cannot be ignored. Games like Grand Theft Auto involve avatars raping and killing women and being rewarded for it. Whilst there is little to link these games to 'copy cat' behaviours, some research has indicated that sexist games may shrink some boys' empathy for female victims.
As a media teacher, I understand the power and impact of media on shaping perspectives and behaviours. While media can be a valuable tool for education and entertainment, it's also essential to address any inappropriate messaging it may contain. Open and honest conversations with young people about the media they consume, provide an opportunity to critically examine the messages being conveyed.
By engaging in these conversations, you can help students develop media literacy skills, enabling them to discern between positive and negative influences. Furthermore, fostering discussions around respect, equality, and healthy relationships can help counteract any harmful attitudes or misconceptions they may have encountered.
My child would never access pornography!
It may not be comfortable for parents to hear, but the reality is that most young people are exposed to pornography. In an Australian study among 16 and 17-year-olds, 73 per cent of boys had watched an X-rated video, with one in twenty watching them on a weekly basis while more than a fifth watch an X-rated video at least once a month. Only 11 per cent of girls had watched an X-rated video, all of them less often than once every two to three months (Flood 2007).
At Sandringham College, we run a session at school called Porn vs Reality, this is delivered by Elephant Ed at Year 9 and is a part of our LifeSkills program. You can also support our proactive and realistic approach to addressing issues that may arise from access to x-rated materials.
Key messages for parents
- Pornography exists within a broader sociocultural context in which stereotypes about gender, sexism, sexual objectification and violence-supportive attitudes are also at play
- Nearly half of children between the ages of 9-16 experience regular exposure to sexual images.
- Young males are more likely than females to deliberately seek out pornography and to do so frequently.
- Pornography use can shape sexual practices and is associated with unsafe sexual health practices such as not using condoms and unsafe anal and vaginal sex.
- Pornography may strengthen attitudes supportive of sexual violence and violence against women.
- The best approach for parents, caregivers and teachers responding to children's exposure to pornography is to encourage open communication, discussion and critical thinking on the part of children, while educating themselves about the internet and social media.
- Parents and caregivers are less likely to be intimidated by online risks if they are informed and take an active role in their children's digital lives.
https://aifs.gov.au/research/research-snapshots/effects-pornography-children-and-young-people
Further information and supports for parents:
Gaming
Alannah and Madeline Foundation
Headspace
https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/supporting-a-young-person/gaming/
Kids Helpline
https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/should-i-be-worried-about-gaming-addiction
Pornography
E-Safety Commisioner
https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/issues-and-advice/hard-to-have-conversations
ABC News
It's time we talked
https://itstimewetalked.com/wp-content/uploads/parent-tips-sheets/Online_parenting_resources.pdf