Wellbeing Notices

Tips on how to start to have helping conversations if you are worried about someone

Hello everyone

Here are some tips about how to have a helping conversation with someone – a friend, a family member, someone you are close to or maybe someone you don’t know so well who you notice might not be feeling so great at the moment. First of all, remember you don’t have to solve someone else’s problem or be an expert!Listening and pointing them in the direction of someone who can help can be enough to start with e.g., wellbeing at school, Kidshelpline https://kidshelpline.com.au/ , websites like headspace https://headspace.org.au/   or Reachout https://au.reachout.com/  are some examples. They might have someone they can trust who they could talk to but are not sure how to start the talk.

A great way to start a conversation is when you notice that maybe someone might not be acting in their usual way. They might seem a bit down, or distracted, or sad or tired.  (Make sure you have the time to talk or catch them when you do and do it privately – not in front of other people). Ideas to start include:

• “you don’t look your usual happy/calm/(other describing word) self. Would you like to talk?
• how is [e.g. school/sport] going?
• how are you getting on with [e.g. your friends/your sister/brother/cousin]?

• how are you feeling about [e.g. studying/tests/friendship stuff]?
• I’ve noticed that you seem to have a lot on your mind lately. I’m happy to talk or listen and see if I can help
• I feel like you [haven’t been yourself lately/have been up and down] - how are things?
• you seem [anxious/sad] - what is happening for you? Just letting you know that I care, and we can work it out together
• it’s OK if you don’t want to talk to me. You could talk to [trusted/known adult]. I want you to know that I care, and I am worried.

• Be prepared to listen and it’s ok if it takes a while for the person to talk. Silence is ok. Remember your body language! Calm manner, eye contact, nodding your head.  LISTEN and let them talk. Use reflection… which means repeating back what they told you  -  is also a good idea. An example of this would be: So what you’re telling me is … 
• Ask them if there is anything you can do to support them.
• Make a time to check in again with the person to see how they are going.
• If you are really worried about the person, you can always come to the Wellbeing office to talk about it.

Josie, Youth Health Nurse