Benefit Mindset Approach

ME and WE

What is the Self?

Is the world made up of 7.5 billion separate selves doing their thing or is there something more going on?

Because, for example, we know the self is not confined by the boundaries of our skin, but likely extends far beyond it. We also know we live in a profoundly interconnected world. As John Mir said, “When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe”.

Therefore, are we separate and individual — or are we a collective that is interconnected and interdependent? Perhaps we can say the self is both separate and interconnected. Both a me and a we at the same time.

Unique yet Interdependent

“We are all differentiated as me but we are all linked as a we” — Daniel Siegel

We love this video from Daniel Siegel where he challenges society's status quo belief that each of us is just an individual me.

His work focuses on how we can honour our individual experiences and uniqueness — but at the same time also honour our collective experience of living in a profoundly interconnected world. How we can cultivate integrated identities — integrating the individual and the collective into one — recognising both our uniqueness and our distributed, interconnected and interdependent qualities.

Why Me and We matters

“The amazing thing is, all the studies of longevity and happiness show that when you live a life realising you're interconnected, you’re going to be happier and healthier.” — Daniel Siegel

The implications of this idea are profound.

Firstly, it completely transforms today’s common notions of health, well-being and resilience. When we draw lines around ourselves and see ourselves as separate, it leads to a form of impaired integration that impacts our own well-being and the well-being of the world.

Second, when people feel connected to broader humanity, they gain an enhanced appreciation of their unique gifts and talents. You gain a better understanding of your significance as an individual, and how you can play a meaningful role in the world as part of the community of life.

Third, it leads to the realisation that helping others — is helping the self. Helping the planet — is helping the self. We thrive when the communities and ecosystems we belong to thrive.

Therefore, it can be suggested it’s only when we see ourselves as both separate and interconnected that we truly create the conditions for a flourishing future.

Postscript

Dan Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, suggests we create a new word, mwe, to represent that we are an individual self (me) linked and interconnected to everyone and everything else (we).