Wellbeing

The newsletter article this week comes from the advice of Linda Stade, who is an educational writer from Western Australia. She works with parents and teachers to grow happy, healthy kids who thrive on learning. Friendships are timely to be discussing with students moving into the transition phase of the year, with step-up and new students starting next year.

FRIENDSHIP LESSON #1: FRIENDS SERVE A PURPOSE

• Having someone to share your vulnerability with.  We learn our personal strengths and weaknesses, share secrets and explore different personality types and what type of people we want to be friends with.  
• Having someone to have fun with.  We need people who share our interests and hobbies. Our fun friends might also make us laugh and relax. They allow us to be a different version of ourselves.
• Having someone to think with. We think more effectively about serious issues when we can think aloud with someone else. Sharing and growing ideas about the world and who we are is an important aspect of friendship and being human.

FRIENDSHIP LESSON #2: HAVING FRIENDS IS DIFFERENT TO BEING POPULAR

Early adolescence is the time when kids move away from looking towards their parents for guidance and approval. They start to look towards their peers. Being popular is about being accepted by a lot of people. The problem is that being accepted sometimes comes at the cost of personal values and integrity. We need to guide kids towards authenticity. Authenticity is the point of difference between friendship and popularity. 

FRIENDSHIP LESSON #3: FRIENDSHIPS ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR BOUNDARIES

Good boundaries make good friends. Our boundaries are our lines in the sand. Our ‘What I will and won’t accept’, our ‘What I will and won’t do’ and our essential, ‘Who I am and who I am not’. They are decisions we make with thought, not on the fly.

FRIENDSHIP LESSON #4: CONFLICT IN FRIENDSHIPS IS NORMAL

Normal friendships encounter conflict. You’d never know that looking at Facebook or Instagram. Those platforms are like friendship nirvana. If we are honest and we manage our boundaries, there will be blow-ups. It’s important that we normalise that for kids. Otherwise, they see every argument as a crisis.

For more information on topics relating to young people, you can visit Linda Stade’s website at: https://lindastade.com/ 

KATE COUCHMAN

School Counsellor