Cybersafety

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying can be pervasive and incessant. Parents should be aware of what they can do to help.

What is ‘cyberbullying’?

Cyberbullying is bullying behaviour, using digital technology, including the internet, email or mobile phones. 

Like any bullying, cyberbullying often occurs between people that know each other—students at a school, members of a sporting club, people from the same social circle, ‘friends of a friend’. 

Cyberbullying is pervasive and incessant. It differs from face-to-face bullying in that the bully can ‘follow’ their victim 24/7, and continue the bullying in the home. Cyberbullies may take advantage of the perception of anonymity (e.g. using an account in a fake name, or a blocked number) but in many cases it is clear who is behind the bullying. 

Cyberbullying can be particularly harmful as it is often a public form of humiliation and many others are able to see what is written or posted. Once something is published online, it is difficult if not impossible to remove all traces of it. 

Forms of cyberbullying

• Sending nasty texts, picture messages, emails, or instant messages
• Repeated prank phone calls
• Using a person’s screen name to pretend to be them (setting up a fake account)
• Using a person’s password to access their account and then pretending to be them
• Forwarding others’ private emails, messages, pictures or videos without permission
• Posting mean or nasty comments or pictures on chat or forums
• Sending and/or forwarding sexually explicit images (‘sexting’)
• Intentionally excluding others from an online group.

Signs your child may be being cyberbullied

Mental anguish is often harder for parents to identify than the signs of face-to-face bullying. There is no definitive list of signs that indicate cyberbullying. 

Although there are some things to look out for:

• Change in mood, demeanour and/or behaviour: for example being upset, angry, teary or rebellious when not previously 
• Change in friendship groups: it can be normal to change friends many times during school days. Teachers can often provide insight, as they see class dynamics in action every day
• Spending more time with family instead of friends: adolescence is generally a time where friends become very important and parents less so
• Lowering of marks: often students who are being bullied show a distinct change in application to studies and a lowering of marks
• Not wanting to go to places: a dramatic change in enthusiasm for going to school or sport—this can manifest as non-specific ailments (headaches, stomach-aches, generally ‘feeling sick’) 
• Being extra secretive in online activities: being online under the doona, or in a ‘secluded’ part of the house
• Distinct change in online behaviours: being ‘jumpy’ when text messages arrive, not leaving their phone alone, wanting to be online all the time, or never wanting to be online.

Aren’t these things normal?

Many of these behaviours may have different causes or may just be stages of your child’s development. In general, it is important to keep an eye on your child’s behaviour patterns and if you feel something is amiss, be aware that things may not be OK in their world (either on or offline), and be there for them.

Ask: “Are you ok?  Has something happened that is bothering you?  Do you want to talk?”

If you are still concerned then enlist the help of our school welfare staff, your GP, a counsellor or adolescent psychologist.

What can I do if my child is cyberbullied?

Praise them for coming to you.

This is a big step as many young people may be frightened to tell a parent about cyberbullying. Even if you don’t really understand, let them know that you will help them.

Do not be angry with your child

Remember that they are the victim and it is someone else who is doing the wrong thing. Do not threaten to take technology away from them because of what someone else has done.

Do not respond to the bullying

It is important not to respond to nasty emails, chats, SMS or comments. This is usually what the bully wants, so ignore them. It is natural in many cases to want to ‘fight back’, but responding with a threat may get your child into trouble as well.

Inform your child’s Year Level Leader or Home Group Teacher.

It is important that the school knows what is going on so we can provide support and monitor any issues that may spill onto the playground or classroom. If the bully is a student from our school, we will work through the situation as we would with any other bullying behaviours reported to us.

Save and store the content

Keep copies of emails, chat logs, text messages, comments or posts. Take a screen shot of the evidence—ask your child for help to do this if necessary.  

An easy, non-technical way to get hard copies is to bring th