Chaplain's Message

I am watching my teens with awe as they unfold.

I notice my urge to mold, and I choose differently.

Instead I access curiosity.

I wonder why she chose that outfit, does it say something she wants to express?

He doesn't seem to love maths anymore, I wonder what direction he will head instead?

She doesn't have as much passion for soccer these days, I wonder what her next "thing" will be?

I wonder why he loves this song, and how it speaks to him?

Take a step back...they are unfolding as they were intended to.

This is a painting that doesn't require you to put an ounce of paint on the canvas.

It's all their paint.

Their vision.

Their dreams and ideas.

You can and should contribute guidance for the painting.

Lessons learned.

Good questions.

Foresight.

But the painting is for them to paint.

Occasionally they may need to erase the whole damn thing and start over. That's okay.....they still don't need your paint.

They need your love.

Your unconditional belief.

Your support.

Notice the urge to paint on their canvas, and instead ask questions about the picture THEY are creating.

Breathe and believe. They've got this. Trust the job you have done thus far and lean into your new job.

Your new job is to have the paint ready at a moment's notice. To supply every color of paint you can. To be a leader by modeling not by instructing. To have your own life and your own interests.

To never, ever stop believing that the painting will be finished one day.....and it will be the best damn painting you've ever seen.

To be present without being needy.

To be loving without creating guilt.

To be THERE without being so THERE!

Nobody said it was easy.....and it's the best job you will ever have the privilege of creating.

#mindfulparenting #getgrounded

P.S. I originally wrote this post a couple of years ago referring to my then tween and teen. I now have two teens, and I feel even more passionately about this piece as I look around and notice the vast amount of parents that believe their teens need THEIR paint on the canvas. They believe that only they know how to paint that canvas and it should be painted as it always has. I encourage you to breathe, and be curious. Paintings aren't supposed to be replicas of each other.....and honestly, it doesn't really matter what your painting looked like at their age. This is a new human, with new ideas and new abilities.....let's just see what they paint....trust me on this one.

Source: Get Grounded - Facebook

I found this post from “Get Grounded” inspirational, and such an example of how to give space, allowing our children to grow and develop in confidence and with love and acceptance. 

Actually it applies to all of us, whatever age we are - give space! I believe it is one of the great gifts that God gives us - Jesus came to show us the human face of God, how to live, to love, to forgive! And then he has left the choices pretty much up to us but by his Spirit, always walking beside us, listening, listening for our cry of help. 

~ Pastor Sarah Pollitt

   College Chaplain