Parenting SA & Happy Families 

About Parenting SA

Parenting SA is a program of the South Australian government. They have been providing the community with quality information on raising children since 1996.

On their site, you can:

• find our popular, free Parent Easy Guides. They cover a wide range of topics about raising babies, toddlers, children and young people from birth to 18 years. There are also Guides specially developed for Aboriginal and multicultural families. Many  education, health and community services across South Australia have the Guides on display for parents to take
• come along to our free parenting seminars at the Adelaide Convention Centre, or view our live webcasts and seminar recordings
• check out our range of parenting videos
• order resources.

Parenting SA resources

• aim to support parents and caregivers in their important role
• are informed by evidence, best practice, parents and communities
• acknowledge the diversity of families and cultures in our community
• acknowledge strengths parents and caregivers bring to their parenting role
• provide sources of further support for families.

Importance of Social Skills 

Children with strong social skills have been shown to do better in life. The ability to navigate the world socially (what’s known as social and emotional intelligence or EQ) often matters more for lifetime success than how smart our kids are! 

It’s true that medical, psychological, neurological, and other issues can affect how our children develop socially. Appropriate help should be sought in these cases. The reality is that our children’s social development is heavily influenced by their social environment. The better we can care for our children, show compassion, empathise, and be socially present and positive in our contributions, the better their developmental outcomes are likely to be. 

How to help

Here are some simple tips and tricks to help your child share more easily, be more confident around other children or adults, or navigate those tricky social situations that we all struggle with.

Empathy, empathy, empathy

Research tells us pretty clearly that the more empathic we can be, the more likely it is that our children will be empathic. 

Be a model

Our children watch and learn from us. How we speak to them (and others) and how we interact with them (and others) is the example they’ll follow as they grow. They’ll be terribly imperfect in their early years, but your modelling is important as an example.

Be an emotion scientist

If you can be an example with your own emotions, and then be curious about your children’s emotional world, they’ll learn that emotions are to be discovered, understood, accepted, and regulated. 

They’ll learn that if you’re ok with emotions, they can be too. 

Being understanding of emotions helps our children know that their feelings are a normal part of being human. (Note, this doesn’t mean letting kids have huge emotions whenever they feel like it. Instead, it means teaching them about their emotions and helping them learn to regulate them.)

Teach turn-taking

Young children, and sometimes older ones, will struggle to share. It’s in their developmental timeline to get better at this around age 6. Until then, teach them to take it in turns. Give them autonomy around this, stating, “When you’ve finished, then it’s ___ turn.”

Identify emotions in friends

When your child takes turns, point out how happy the other child is. Ask them, “How did Liam feel when you let him have a turn?” 

You could read a book and ask, “How does this person feel when that happens?” This teaches emotional intelligence and empathy quickly and effectively. Start as early as you can.

Never allow physical aggression

Because our kids use their bodies so much at a young age and are reactive, we do need to intervene. Let them know it’s ok to feel upset or frustrated, but we always have safe hands, safe feet and a safe mouth. 

Teach them to find ways to help

“What do you think happened? How can you help?”

Teaching children to be helpers doesn’t just build compassion and empathy. It teaches them how to be a good person with social capability, and an improved ability to regulate their emotions and make a difference in other’s lives. This is a key to building strong social skills.

• Ultimately our children are just that – children. They’ll struggle to navigate social challenges all their lives. But when we: establish a strong foundation by creating a safe home and school environments, 
• teaching them empathy, setting effective boundaries, and 
• helping them to find ways to help others...

... we build their social and psychological immunity. 

When tough times come – and they will – they’ll have a solid foundation to stand on to help navigate those challenges and come out stronger because of them.

Adapted from Dr. Justin Coulson "Happy Families".