From the Leadership Team

Safe and Responsible Partying

This year has started off well and students have hit the ground running in their studies, as well as keeping busy with co-curricular activities and House events. Courage is the character word for first semester and students are already making brave decisions and showing courage in their behaviours across many different situations.

Earlier this month, we had the pleasure of hosting Sonia Karras for our first parent education seminar for 2017. Sonia presented an entertaining and informative talk to parents from Years 7-12 on alcohol, drugs and the law, social media safety, hosting parties at home, drink spiking and drugs. Above all, the take home message was - arm yourself with the facts, be open and honest with your children and set clear boundaries and guidelines.

One interesting point that reaffirmed my thinking was that your children will make mistakes from time to time. Let them make these but be their safety net. At some point your children may find themselves in situations where things start happening that they aren’t comfortable with, but they stick around, mainly because they feel like they don’t have a way out.

Recently, I read an article by Bert Fulks (a US teacher, speaker, business owner/manager, writer and musician) titled, ‘X-Plan: Giving your kids a way out’. His family has something called the ‘X-Plan’. This simple, but powerful tool is a lifeline that our kids are free to use at any time. 

Here’s how it works:

Say their son attends a party and something about the situation makes him uncomfortable, all he has to do is text the letter ‘X’ to his mother, father, older brother or sister.  The one who receives the text has a very basic script to follow.  Within a few minutes, they call his phone.  When he answers, the conversation goes like this:

“Hello?”

“Son, something’s come up and I have to come get you right now.”

“What happened?”

“I’ll tell you when I get there.  Be ready to leave in five minutes.  I’m on my way.”

At that point, he tells his friends that something’s happened at home, someone is coming to get him, and he has to leave. In short, their son knows he has a way out. At the same time, there’s no pressure on him to open himself up to any social ridicule. 

However, there’s one critical component to the X-Plan:  Once he’s been extracted from the situation, their son knows that he can tell his parents as much or as little as he wants … but it’s completely up to him.  The X-Plan comes with the agreement that they will pass no judgment and ask no questions (even if he is 20km away from where he’s supposed to be).  This can be a hard thing for some parents but Bert feels it might not only save them, but it will go a long way in building trust between you and your child. One caveat here is that their son knows if someone is in danger, he has a moral obligation to speak up for their protection, no matter what it may cost him personally.

So it may work for you to use some form of X-Plan in your home. Whatever your safety net, it should be discussed with your children so they have ownership and it feels comfortable for both them and you.

Matt Brinson, Head of Senior School