Chaplain’s Spot
‘Some funnies for us to enjoy’
Hello everyone. What is the only constant part of life? Change! We never know what the next day will bring. Therefore, we need to make the most of each moment. One way is to bring some light to the darkness. We usually cannot alter what is happening around us, the uncertainty, the anxiety, but we can bring something positive into the situation. Enjoy some hilarity for this edition of the GRPS Grapevine. At the end of the article you can find details of two helpful webinars on anxiety and starting secondary school.
1] A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
2] Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mum, I've got a stomach ache." "That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it." That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie responded, "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."
3] What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade? The letter "m."
4] Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!!
5] Why are hairdressers never late for work? Because they know all the short cuts!
6] Jack and Mike are watching the footy on TV, when an advert about scuba divers comes on the TV. Jack says, "Mike, why do the deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with their air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Mike thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat!"
7] A Mum and son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a box of animal crackers and the Mum asks him why. The boy says, "You should not eat it if the seal is broken, so I'm looking for the seal."
8] How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to say, "But I never turn it on!" and two to say, "But I did it last time!"
9] Why is Cinderella bad at soccer? Because she runs away from the ball.
10] What kind of key opens a banana? A mon-key!
11] What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish!
12] Why was the broom late? It over-swept!
13] How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying? You rocket!
14] How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
15] Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a bagel.
16] What do you call guys who love math? Algebros.
17] What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
18] My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
19] I asked my dog, ‘What’s two minus two?’. He said nothing.
20] A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest."
Have a great week! Feel free to contact me by phone or email, if you would like a chat.
Fun fact For Kids: Cookie Monster isn’t actually eating cookies on Sesame Street – they’re actually painted rice cakes!
Alan Silverwood – Chaplain - Pastoral care for our community. [Monday, Tuesday, Friday]
[alan.silverwood@education.vic.gov.au] Supporting the School community in emotional, social, spiritual and practical wellbeing. The Chaplaincy program is funded by the Federal Government, donations and GRPS School Council.
STARTING SECONDARY SCHOOL WEBINAR
With Dr Michael Carr-Gregg and Sharon Witt Wednesday 24th November 2021 at 7pm We are thrilled to let you know about a fantastic webinar for parents who have a young person beginning their High School journey in 2022.
Tickets are just $30 and you will have 12 weeks in which to view the recorded webinar as many times as you wish. Secure your ticket now at:
THIS WEBINAR WILL COVER: Next year’s Year 7 cohort will be entering Secondary School after an unprecedented Year 6 school experience, many spending much in lockdown, and in remote learning. In this highly engaging and informative presentation, experienced secondary educator Sharon Witt and adolescent psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg will bring the most up to date research and strategies including the following:
What affects has lockdown and remote learning had on our students and will they be disadvantaged due to the pandemic?
How can I help my child who is worried they have missed out on so much in Year 6?
Understanding the adolescent brain
Managing change: timetables, new school, teachers
Homework
Navigating friendships
Managing their Health: sleep, exercise, nutrition
Understanding Mental Health concerns of adolescents and when to seek help
We look forward to your company
Best wishes
RKC (Resilient Kids Conference) Team
