Why Do Adolescent Boys Make Poor Decisions?

Over my 40 years as an educator and leader in single sex girls', boys;' and coeducational schools, people often ask me about what attracted me to return to a boys’ school environment. I actually do not have a preference for the gender of the students I work with and was attracted to St Patrick’s College because of the EREA charism and its wonderful reputation in the community for being a safe and supportive environment where all students can thrive and grow into adulthood. One of the best decisions I ever made!

My experience as a secondary school teacher constantly reminds me that adolescents make poor decisions, and this is a trait not exclusive to young boys! From acting like a class clown to getting beyond drunk at a friend’s party, to some seriously questionable outfit choices, teenagers often do things that seem outlandishly stupid. But we now know why: the areas of the brain that control decision-making don’t fully develop until early adulthood. And with young men, it is their brain development that is at the heart of their poor decisions.

A teen’s developing brain places them at greater risk of being reactive in their decision-making, and less able to consider the consequences of their choices. So how can teachers and parents/carers help their teenage sons learn and apply good decision-making skills?

Teenagers have been found to be poor decision-makers if they feel pressured, stressed or are seeking attention from peers. They make stupid decisions in the presence of coaxing peers whom they wish to impress. I have read an explanation that resonates with my experience. The difference between what teenagers know and what they choose can be explained in terms of “cold” and “hot” situations. “Cold” situations are choices made during times of low emotional arousal. During these periods, teenagers are able to make well-reasoned and rational decisions. “Hot” situations refer to choices during periods of high emotional arousal (feeling excited, anxious, or upset). Hot situations increase the chance of teenagers engaging in risk-taking and sensation-seeking behaviours, with little self-control or consideration of the possible consequences of their actions. The impact of emotional arousal on decision-making explains why teenagers might discuss, for example, the negative consequences associated with drinking and drug-taking, but then engage in those very behaviours when with friends.

Gradual increases in autonomy and practice with independent decision-making are vital for teenagers to become confident adults with good emotional and social well-being. Although parents/carers know poor choices are part of becoming an adult, most want to protect their teenager from making very serious, or illegal, choices.

Good decision-making skills can be learned, and there are six key steps parents/carers and teachers can employ to encourage better teen decision-making:

Be aware of upcoming events that may present teenagers with decisions that need to be made. Listen to their expectations about the events (such as whether they expect to drink alcohol or vape).
Present scenarios which may present a risk or will require a decision (such as missing the train home, friends becoming irrational) to explore healthy, or safer choices.
Encourage your teenager to stop and think. Help them recognise “when in the moment” to temporarily remove themselves from a situation to help them make decisions away from direct pressures (go to the bathroom, make a phone call, text a friend).
Provide a decision-making compass. Although teenagers are not able to consider all of the potential consequences of a situation, to check whether a decision is a good one, get them to consider whether they would tell you about their decision (“Would I want mum/dad/grandma/grandpa to know about what I’m about do?”)
Remind teenagers to ask for help. They don’t have to make choices alone. Ensure that they know that at school they can reach out to any trusted adult for help. Outside of school, they can save contact details of people who can be available to talk through options if they are in a difficult situation (siblings, parents, carers, or extended family).
Use mistakes as learning opportunities. Teenagers may make some wrong choices. Use these lived experiences to generate discussion about where the decision making went wrong, and how to make better choices in the future. In the school context, this means accepting the punitive measures that come your way, reflect on what they could have done to avoided getting into trouble and then move forward with hope and optimism.

For the boys at St Patrick’s College, our school is a hotbed for group conformity because of the close proximity to peers in a confined space, the multiple age-related stressors, and the social media rabbit hole. But the good news is that students are also spending their days in the school of the educational environment. Within the in-person or remote classroom, we as educators constantly try to help students build skills for facing peer pressure.

Adults and children are all likely to face peer pressure in their lives. Our best option is to help build the skills of children to objectively evaluate a situation before making a dangerous choice and develop their confidence to assertively say NO when necessary. These are lifelong skills that we can all use right now.

Travelling to and from School

For the boys who travel to and from our campus via public transport, we are blessed to have so many convenient school specials that are free and reliable. I would urge our parents/carers to consider allowing their sons to travel via public transport when convenient so they can build their autonomous skills, grow in their responsibility, and ultimately choose a better and more sustainable option for the environment.

It has become evident that some boys are choosing to avoid catching school specials and instead are preferring to walk down to Strathfield Station and loiter there or in parks along the way. Please support us as we stamp this practice out. Nor can the lads be choosing to pile onto a public bus service in the event the special is a few minutes late. We run the risk of losing the school specials entirely as the patronage is not as high as it should be and the school special bus is re-routed elsewhere. In some cases, we are alerted to boys catching a public bus service via their Opal Card number and they run the risk of losing the privilege of free travel which would be a great shame.

Kiss and Ride is an area where we rely on parent self-regulation. We have shared, ad nauseam, the routines in both the mornings and the afternoons. We understand that parents/carers lead busy lives and ask their sons to wait in local parks, well away from the College, so that pick up is faster. However, these parks are NOT supervised. We ask that you use our Kiss and Ride service, albeit a little slower than a local park pick up, so that you are taking advantage of the staff supervision we offer. The boys can also go to the McGlade Library and be picked up after 3:45 PM from Francis Street bus lines which is also quick and convenient.

In the morning, boys can be dropped off on the corner of Merley Road and Francis Street up until 8:00 AM. After that, please drop him off in Fraser Street (the Kiss and Ride designated area). If you prefer to drop your son off in a side street, please do so on Barker Road and he can walk down the right of way next to the Duffy Music Centre. It is convenient and safe for your son and allows you to drop off other children if you need to.

Summer Sports Season

As I write this article this week, I have returned from Majors Bay Reserve where I watched our boys play Baseball, then returned to the College where Cricket was in full swing with the First XI on magnificent Breen Oval versus St Augustine’s. Over in Penrith, we have many teams in the Basketball Finals. Golf was being played over in West Ryde. Win or lose, I love watching the boys participate in their chosen sports. As Summer sports draws to a close, I have been reflecting on how special our Co-curricular Program is at SPC as it really gives the boys a holistic education. To play all the sports, the boys need to be fit and strong, and have good hand-eye coordination and ball-handling skills.

Health benefits include:

endurance and stamina
balance and coordination
physical fitness
improving hand-eye coordination.

As well as physical health benefits, sports can also bring other benefits and opportunities such as:

Team skills
Social skills such as cooperation, communication and learning how to cope with winning and losing.
Social interaction – it’s a great way to meet new people and make new friends.

I congratulate all the coaches who were involved in sporting teams this year and for their commitment to ensuring their teams have the best experiences. And a special thanks to our parents/carers who traverse the wider Sydney basin to drop off their sons and the wonderful parents/carers who take the time to prepare drinks, morning tea, lunch, and afternoon tea for the Opens Team; a beautiful tradition of hospitality where boys can mingle with the boys they had just competed against. These traits of sportsmanship will hold them in good stead as they move into manhood and their chosen careers.

A special mention to the First XI who won the ISA Shield last Saturday. We won the toss and went in to bat and we were all out for a disappointing 86 runs. But this did not deter the spirit of this team. Captained so beautifully by Cooper, they were determined to get the St Augustine’s team out and so they did for 78. It was a low scoring game but a great contest. The crowd was hushed as our bowlers performed their magic with Charlie Gray being singled out by the opposition as man of the match. There will be a more detailed report elsewhere but suffice to say, that sportsman-like spirit, never say die attitude and the ability to learn from mistakes was on display for all to see. Congratulations boys (and Mr Simpson)!

Dr Vittoria Lavorato

Principal

SPC boys can do anything!

**except divide by zero

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