English

Things That Go Bump

Students in Mr Oakes’ Things That Go Bump class had to write a horror story set in their school. Here is a very entertaining story from Sophie Woolstencroft.

The Adventures of Soul Eating Billy Bob – a Horror Story                     by Sophie Woolstencroft

Billy Bob was a simple man. He loved only one thing; boring young people. Billy Bob was a teacher at the worst school ever, Wanganui Park Secondary College. By day Billy Bob was your average, run-of-the-mill guy, but by night Billy Bob was a …………….MONSTER!! That’s right, Billy Bob was a monster, but not just any monster. Billy Bob was the “suck your soul out” kind of monster. That’s why he chose teaching. There was nothing more efficient than a boring class to suck the soul out of kids!

People were starting to get suspicious of Billy Bob, though. Billy Bob’s students didn’t show up to class and they all agreed he was the worst teacher to have ever lived. Everything was going smoothly. Billy Bob had smoothed it out, eating a few more souls along the way, until one day Billy Bob was called to the office unexpectedly.

That’s where Janice, the Principal, was. Although Billy Bob wouldn’t say it he thought Janice was amazing. You see, she was a monster too. She had eaten over a billion souls in her lifetime! Billy Bob was nervous to say the least. I mean, you would be too, if you were meeting your idol. Janice, though, didn’t like Billy Bob much. She thought he was a bit of a wimp. But nonetheless Janice told Billy Bob that he was doing a good job and he was getting promoted.

Billy Bob had reduced his class to mindless zombies. That’s what happens when you suck someone’s soul out. They lose all their personality. They don’t know left from right, up from down. He had cracked all but one of his students, Gertrude Miller. It was almost like she didn’t have any soul at all. Her days were spent making snide comments about Billy Bob’s hips, and not paying attention.

To say Billy Bob hated her would be an understatement. He would savour every last second of her soul. It was like wine, he told himself. The longer you wait the better it gets! Every day he thought she was going to drive him into an early grave. He was too young to die – he’d only lived two millennia!

He endured comment after comment about his hips. It’s not his fault souls went straight to his hips! He tried everything he could, and I mean everything! You name it he’d tried it. But nothing would give him the sweet soul he desired.

Billy sat at home in his mediocre house, as he read his mail. Bills, more bills, a coupon for a free bottle of lotion if you buy seven, and a letter from the Society of Soul Sucking Monsters. The Society of Soul Sucking Monsters was the organisation in charge of, yep, you guessed it, Soul Sucking Monsters!

They would be furious if they found out that he still hadn’t eaten Gertrude’s soul. The letter read:

Dear Billy Bob. You’re doing a great job eating souls! We at the organisation have noticed your excellent work. But it has been brought to our attention that you have not yet eaten the soul of Gertrude Miller. If you do not eat her soul within the next 3 days, we will have to terminate you and your position at the wonderful Wanganui Park Secondary College. (That place is great for sucking souls!)

                                                Have a horrendous day

                                                                Sincerely,

                                                                                Not Yours

                                                                                                Barry Souleater

PS, it was totally Janice who ratted you out. She really hates you doesn’t she?

PPS, don’t forget to be mean!

Billy Bob’s hands were shaking! I mean three days to eat a soul was not a long time! Damn you Gertrude!

Billy had thought long and hard about this. He had a plan! He showed up at school and he knew today was the day! He was going to eat Gertrude’s soul! Gertrude was Gertrude, as always commenting on his hips. He gave her a packet of Plain Rice Cakes and told her to eat them. She begrudgingly agreed, and then he told her to go and watch the paint on the wall dry. Then he watched as the light faded from her eyes, and he took the opportunity to devour her soul: a small one, albeit a delicious one!