Student Well-being
Wellbeing in the Year Prep Community
This week in the Year Prep Community we have been introduced to the word 'stress.' We discussed what the word means, how it makes us feel and what we may look like on the outside.
The Year Preps said when they are stressed they feel:
- hot inside
- sweaty
- red in the face
- frustrated
The Year Preps were fabulous at discussing different scenarios that make them feel stressed. It was wonderful to hear discussions as children compared stories and situations. They all began to realise that similar situations stress them out! They agreed that at school we can help each other with our stresses and we need to be mindful of each other's needs.
Some situations that make the Year Preps stressed were:
- When people don't share
- When they can't find someone to play with
- When their best friend is away from school and they need to ask someone new to play
School refusal: children and teenagers
What is school refusal?
School refusal is when children get extremely upset at the idea of going to school and often miss some or all of the school day. This distress doesn’t go away.
School refusal can mean that children have trouble going to school or trouble leaving home, so they might not go to school at all. Children who refuse to go to school usually spend the day at home with their parents’ knowledge, even though their parents try hard to get them to go.
School refusal is not a formal psychiatric diagnosis. It’s a name for an emotional problem.
Signs of school refusal
If your child refuses to go to school, you might feel that school nights and mornings are a ‘battle of wills’. Your child might:
- cry, throw tantrums, yell or scream
- hide or lock themselves in their room
- refuse to move
- beg or plead not to go
- complain of aches, pains and illness before school, which generally get better if you let your child stay at home
- show high levels of anxiety
- have trouble sleeping
- threaten to hurt themselves.
Causes of school refusal
There’s rarely a single cause of school refusal. It might be linked to anxiety or worries about leaving home, a phobia, learning difficulties, social problems at school, or depression.
School refusal might start gradually or happen suddenly. It can happen at the same time as or after:
- stressful events at home or school or with peers
- family and peer conflict
- starting or changing schools
- moving home
- bullying or teasing
- problems with a teacher
- poor school results.
By not going to school, a child might be able to:
- avoid scary things – for example, tests, certain teachers, the canteen and so on
- get out of social situations with peers or teachers
- keep an eye on what’s happening at home – for example, if a family member or pet is ill.
Understanding your child’s school refusal
The first step to working on school refusal is trying to understand the issue from your child’s point of view. This means you can go to the school with useful information.
Identifying why your child is having trouble going to school
- Talk with your child about school and why they don’t want to go. Try to find out whether your child is having problems with peers or teachers, or whether they’re trying to avoid something. For example, ‘If you could change one thing about school, what would it be?’
- If your child finds it hard to talk about the problem, ask your child to rate each part of the school day – for example, the bus ride, classroom, specialist classes, teacher, peers, recess and lunch breaks. Younger children might find it easier to tell you how they feel by pointing to symbols like sad faces or smiley faces.
- Think about whether there’s anything happening at home that’s making it hard for your child to leave and go to school. For example, have you had a death in the family or recently moved house? Is your child worried about someone at home, or is your dog unwell?
Finding solutions to school refusal
- Help your child to use a problem-solving approach to the things that make it hard for them to leave home or go to school.
- Tell your child that you’re going to work together with their school to help them go to school.
Working with schools on school refusal
The best way to get your child back to school is by working as a team with your child’s school. It’s a good idea to start by talking with your child’s classroom teacher, home-room teacher or year coordinator.
Here are things you could cover:
- Explain what’s going on for your child and why your child is refusing to go to school – for example, bullying, learning difficulties, mental health problems and so on.
- Ask whether other support staff can help your child. These staff might include the student wellbeing leader. Ask whether you can have regular updates on your child’s progress and support needs.
- If your child has a learning difficulty that makes it hard for them to enjoy learning, ask what support the school can offer.
You can read more on this topic at:
Lauren Borg
Student Wellbeing Leader