Counselling Suite
Practicing gratitude over the Christmas break
With the holidays here already and Christmas around the corner, many of us (myself included!) are feeling as though the year has flown by… It’s been a particularly busy year for us over in the student counselling area. It’s difficult to know whether this is because there are more wellbeing and/or mental health issues amongst young people or whether young people today are more proactive in seeking help (it’s probably a combination of both). Nonetheless, now that things are slowing down at school and for others who may be taking time off over the Christmas period, it is a good time to take stock and reflect on the year that was… Many of us intuitively tend to do this as the year comes to a close and we start thinking about what is ahead of us in the new year. Family celebrations can also often prompt reflection, particularly if there has been a change in the family, such as a birth, death, illness or new relationship.
When reflecting on 2019, it is helpful to do so from a place of gratitude. This may sound irritating to those who have had a rough year, and by no means am I suggesting that it would be appropriate and/or rational to think positively about negative experiences like losing a job, family breakdown or illness, to name a few. But it is helpful to remember that where there is darkness, there is light. Sometimes we need to experience the darkness in order to recognise and appreciate the light. As unwelcome as it may be, we can also experience a lot of personal growth through dark times – we see this a lot over in the counselling area.
I know there is a lot of talk about gratitude yet people tend to struggle to know how to practice it. It’s more than just saying “thank you” to people when they give Christmas presents! Some ways you can practice gratitude include journaling, or writing down some of the things you are grateful for, big or small. This tends to work best when it’s done regularly as it helps us to pay more regular attention to things that are going well in our lives (thus, working against our negativity bias, which we all have thanks to evolution!). Over time, gratitude journaling has been shown to lead to increased feelings of happiness, improved quality of sleep, improved immunity and it can enhance the quality of relationships.
Another way to practice gratitude is to think about the important people in your life and what it is that you love or like about them. This may include people who you have lost – whilst they are no longer here, you will always have your memories of them. It can also be helpful to contemplate what life would be like without your loved ones and to think about what you would miss if they were no longer around. Once you’ve done this, you could use Christmas time as an opportunity to tell your family and friends how much they mean to you and what it is that you appreciate about them. This will have a much more significant impact on your relationships than buying extravagant gifts.
For those who have faced some challenging life circumstances this year, take some time and space to reflect on this. It’s ok (and perfectly appropriate) to experience negative emotions like sadness, anger, disappointment and fear. It’s also ok to stumble when we face challenges – we are human after all. Try not to beat yourself up about things that may not have gone to plan too much. Try not to dwell too much on situations that you can’t control either. Think about what you would say to a friend or a loved one in similar circumstances if you find yourself being overly critical of yourself or “stuck” ruminating over a difficult situation, with no foreseeable resolution. Ask yourself if there may be a more helpful way of thinking about a difficult situation. Pay attention to what personal strengths and supports you’ve relied or could rely on to work through your situation. Remind yourself of your values and what is most important to you. Focus your energy on fostering the things and people you love and on what you have control over.
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday!
Please note that the student counselling service will not be operating over the Summer holidays. If you are concerned about your child’s mental health, please contact your GP and/or the following services may be able to assist you:
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Women’s and Children’s Hospital: 8161 7000
Headspace: 1800 063 267
Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636
Dr Lucinda Clifford
PSYCHOLOGIST