Counsellors' Corner

The importance of connecting with family

A special part of my day is connecting with my family of an evening. I particularly love it when we are all home together and we can share a simple meal, sitting at our table.

Of course, this is not always possible due to the busy lives we lead. With work, family and numerous other commitments, our days can easily be taken over.

This too, can be a struggle for many families in our school community with parents/carers who do shiftwork, parents/carers needing to go away for work, often for several months and parents/carers who are raising their children alone.

Sometimes I can’t even see our table with all the ‘stuff’ that gets dumped on it.

It all seems too hard…

It can take some effort to organise such a simple thing as wanting to connect with my family in this way, just to share a meal. Clearing the table can seem so overwhelming! And then I remember I can ask for help. I ask the family to get involved, putting away the stuff, searching for a clean tablecloth, maybe even a small vase of flowers or a candle.

So why do I bother?

Because they are worth it.

Because we need to reconnect on a regular basis

Because it is sacred and I hope our children will want to do this with their children.

And, I love that we say a prayer together before we eat.

I love connecting with my family. I tell myself I can spare 30 minutes to sit with them and hear about their day. My husband often asks us, ‘What was the best part of your day? And what was the worst?' I love that he asks this question. To have the opportunity to share, have a good laugh or talk through a difficult situation. 

We don’t get this opportunity every night. However, when we do, it is quite wonderful.

Recently, a research article caught my attention, ’The Family Dinner Project’. 

This research project had spanned over three decades and their findings were quite amazing. It showed that regular family meals offer a wide variety of physical, social-emotional and academic benefits. While some of these benefits can be gained through other activities, eating together is the only single activity that is known to provide all of them at the same time.

Some of the specific benefits of family dinners are:

• Better academic performance
• Higher self-esteem
• Greater sense of resilience
• Lower risk of substance abuse
• Lower risk of teen pregnancy
• Lower risk of depression
• Lower likelihood of developing eating disorders
• Lower rates of obesity
• Better cardiovascular health in teens
• Increased vocabulary in pre-schoolers
• Healthier eating patterns in young adults

There are also benefits for adults, including:

• Better nutrition with more fruits and vegetables and less fast food
• Less dieting
• Increased self-esteem
• Lower risk of depression

The bible also has encouraging words for us in Acts 2:46

‘And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts…’

I hope you feel encouraged to ‘break bread’ with your family when you are able to, and thereby reaping the numerous benefits that are available for us all. 

Lisa Stratton

School Counsellor