Wellbeing

Understanding Grief and Loss – for Family and Friends.

It’s normal to feel sadness and grief after an experience of loss. But that doesn’t make it easy.

Grief is an individual experience, it’s what happens after you lose someone or something important to you. You don’t have to know the person for their loss to impact you. Everyone experiences grief differently. Our culture, gender, age, past experiences of loss, and belief systems can also affect the way we grieve, so try not to compare yourself to anyone else or get too worried about the way you grieve – everyone grieves differently.

The grieving process can take time and it’s not unusual for young people to experience ups and downs over months or years while working through grief.

Don’t be surprised if the young person you’re supporting has strong and unpredictable mood swings. Grief can include an intense combination of the following: shock, disbelief, pain, intense sadness, longing, guilt (about the past, or about being happy in the future), anger, resentment, abandonment, confusion, anxiety, worry.

Families are extremely important in supporting a young person who is grieving. Continuing your family life and encouraging your young person to stay connected with friends and activities will allow them to maintain a sense of safety and security, and to feel hopeful about the future. Loss can contribute to a sense that things are out of control for a young person. Helping them to regain some control can be important.

Some other strategies that may be helpful in supporting a young person include:

Acknowledging their loss and the need to take time to grieve
Providing information about normal patterns of grief
Talking openly and honestly about the loss and your willingness to support them
Asking them what they might need from you
Being patient. Someone experiencing grief can be unpredictable. Responding to their needs in a way that is calm, consistent and responsive will help them to feel safe and connected with you.
Encouraging their continued participation in enjoyable activities such as sports or hobbies, catching up with friends, and family activities
Supporting them as they gather stories and memories of the loved one in ways that appeal to them (e.g. writing, photos, journals, talking, blogs or memorials)
Helping them to anticipate times that may be particularly difficult, (e.g. Christmas, birthdays or anniversaries) and develop a plan for coping with these periods.
Helping them find meaning in what has happened and foster a sense of hope for the future

This article was developed by Headspace: see for further information and resources https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/for-young-people/grief-and-loss/

Getting help and support

It can be helpful to get professional support if your young person’s sense of grief and loss is not easing over time or their ability to cope with daily life is impacted. You may want to contact your GP to arrange for your young person to seek counselling. Dhelkaya Health also offers grief and loss counselling within our community and can be contacted on: 03 5406 0506 or 0473 221 662.

The following supports can also be helpful for your young person:

Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800)

Lifeline (13 11 14)

E-Headspace https://headspace.org.au/online-and-phone-support/

You may also want to contact the school Wellbeing Team on 5479 1111 or via our website:

https://sites.google.com/education.vic.gov.au/cscwellbeing/home