Student Wellbeing

Reasons why your Under 18 son should not use alcohol

In Australia, we live in a society that for some reason has forgotten that you can have celebration without intoxication. Telling others you don’t drink alcohol can seem as if it is you who has a problem.

Without wanting to be too much of a wowser about it, our cultural attitudes around drinking are pretty stuffed up. With the level of mixed messages floating around about alcohol, teens are not going to be convinced to not drink unless parents take a clear, strong stand.

Here are some reasons why a teenager should not drink alcohol:

1. The growing brain is more easily damaged by alcohol.
2. It is against the law.
3. It is against the law (yes, I know I just said that, but I wanted to repeat it so you don’t glide over it).
4. People who drink as teenagers are more likely to become problem drinkers when they become adults.
5. Teenagers process alcohol differently. Adults get sleepy after too many drinks. Teens are up and firing and ready to do all manner of risky things.
6. Teens don’t know when to stop drinking. The majority of teens binge when they drink.
7. Teens who use alcohol are more likely to be sexually active at earlier ages.
8. Young people who drink are more likely than others to be victims of violent crime.
9. Teens who drink are more likely to have problems with school work.

Why do teens drink alcohol?

Some teens want to drink at parties to get smashed. These are the people who are most likely to become problem drinkers as adults. Having permissive parents who provide alcohol for them signals to them that getting blind drunk is acceptable.

Other teens want to drink at parties because it will lessen their anxiety. We need to help our teens learn the art of talking to and mixing with other people, especially of the opposite sex. It helps to point out the sexiest person at the party is unlikely to be the guy who is blind drunk, not in control of his behaviour.

Some teens want to drink because it helps them to fit in. Teens are desperate to be accepted. Parents often sympathise with this but perhaps don’t think about what happens if their teen wants to fit in with other group, say dope smokers or pill poppers, and hasn’t learnt how to stand up to peer pressure.

Tips for talking with your teen

Teens need to know where you stand on this issue. Be clear and unambiguous.

It will be tough. It is much tougher in this country not to drink, than to drink. Say, ‘I’m going to ask you something tough. I know this is hard and I know you probably won’t agree: I don’t want you to drink alcohol until you are 18’.

If it helps you, use one of the nine reasons why alcohol should not be used by under 18-year-olds to justify your statement.

Expect disagreement. Expect, ‘Everyone else is’, ‘All the other parents let their kids drink’, ‘You are so old fashioned’, ‘You are the worst parent’, and ‘You can’t stop me,’ or ‘You don’t love me’.

Do not expect your teen to be swayed by the strength of your argument the first time you raise this issue. If it seems likely to become an argument say, ‘You’ve heard and know my position, let’s discuss it again when you had a chance to think it over’ and then move away.

If the discussion is calmer, you might consider outlining the consequences if you find they have been drinking alcohol.

Generally, teens will go away sulking and scheming and then come back to you to make a further argument in favour of drinking alcohol. Usually their new argument is based on their fears of social rejection.

Stick to your argument. Eventually you will get to a point where you can start to plan strategies for handling the pressure to drink at parties.

Remind your teen that it is possible to have fun without drinking.

Things teens can say to explain why they are not drinking at parties

1. My parents would kill me.
2. I have a medical condition.
3. I have a performance tomorrow.
4. I have an allergic reaction to alcohol that requires hospitalisation.
5. I have made a deal with my parents that if I don’t drink until I’m 18 I get a lot of money.
6. I have an addictive personality and alcohol is too risky for me.
7. I’m on medication that reacts badly with alcohol.
8. I’m looking after my friend.
9. I’m going to the gym tomorrow morning.
10. I’ve decided not to drink. This is the hardest because some teens will want to question or influence your decision.

This article is an edited article, written by Andrew Fuller (Clinical Psychologist) published at. Theparentswebsite.com.au

If you would like to get in touch with The School Counsellor at St. James, feel free to call me on 9575 8128 or email at gvlamakis@sjcbe.catholic.edu.au

George Vlamakis

Student Counsellor