Deputy Principal

Conversations with our Sons

I took the opportunity during homeroom last Friday to talk to Year 9 Students about their use of their electronic devices. Specifically, about how some of them are using their devices to send inappropriate messages/photos/memes about each other and female students outside of the College. However, this issue is bigger than Year 9 so I thought I would write about it more broadly to all parents/carers.

We are an inclusive community - boys sending photos that put others down or using words that are harmful when they do not know the meaning of them, is inappropriate. Some of the words being used they simply do not know the definition of.

Over the last month, this has been a particular issue at the College. Year Coordinators have spoken to your sons at length about this issue and have gone through case studies on the appropriate use of devices. Earlier this year, Kirra Pendergast from Safe on Social Media came in and spoke to some cohorts about their rights and responsibilities related to posting on social media and their phones in general. She also spoke to students about the law pertaining to this and how they could report to the eSafety Commissioner. Kirra also gave a presentation to parents/carers that same evening.

Dr Lavorato, Mr Simpson and I have written extensively about this topic in the Especean this year. Most of the issues taking place are occurring after school, on the weekends and during the school holidays. These are times when they are under parent supervision, not the College’s, yet it is parents/carers who are ringing the school and demanding that we act on things that have happened on devices that they have given to their sons. Most issues that are being raised are happening as parents have given their sons’ devices without checking how they are being used. We have a large number of students under the age of 13 using apps that are not appropriate for them. Indeed, in the terms and conditions for Snapchat and Instagram, the minimum age is 13, as it is for most social media apps. 

A lot of our students have hundreds of friends on these apps. They allow anyone to access their profiles but then get upset when people use their profile photos to ‘put them down.’ I do not condone bullying or ridiculing anyone, however, as parents/carers you need to look at your sons’ phones, their apps, and most importantly their security settings. I know times have changed and the use of social media can be incredibly positive but as parents/carers you need to know how your son is using his device/s. 

If your son does something at home that you do not like, you challenge their behaviour - that is a normal part of parenting. Therefore, as parents and carers we also need to challenge our children’s behaviour online if it is unacceptable. This needs to be managed at home rather than just passed onto the school to deal with.

I ask that you sit with your sons over the next few days to go through their phones and scroll through their photos and apps. If you see inappropriate behaviour from your son, call it out and have a conversation with him. I told the Year 9 boys that as a father of two daughters I was horrified to see what had been written to girls on social media from some of our students. I told them that if I was the father of these girls, I would not bother ringing the boy’s school, I would report directly to the police. I also have a son and would challenge his behaviour if he were writing disgusting things about females on social media.

I know your son may say that they are entitled to their privacy. My response to my own son is that as a parent, I have a duty to ensure that he is safe online and that I am educating him on the use of his device. I also remind him that my wife and I pay the bills!

Technology changes constantly, second by second, and I know keeping up with all the changes is not easy. However, the alternative is to put our head in the sand and ignore things. The reality of that approach is that there is a huge fallout afterwards when people post appalling material online.

I always say that I do not tolerate difference, I celebrate it. I ask you to work with us to ensure that as a Catholic community, we embrace our touchstones to ensure that we are an inclusive community.

Adrian Byrne

Deputy Principal