Pastrol Care Worker
Pastrol Care News
Farewell…
Mid last term I mentioned I was about to leave Lockleys North; and then I ended up staying for another term. This time, I really am leaving. As I mentioned previously I have thoroughly enjoyed working as a Pastoral Care Worker and feel privileged to have worked with so many beautiful children and professional staff over the last few years. It has been a delight to watch many students grow and develop into mature young people, taking on responsibilities around the school and showing care and compassion to younger students.
I wish all staff, students and families the very best for the future.
And now … one last parenting item ….
Getting Along
The other day I was reading an article from the Gottman Institute titled “7 brilliant things emotionally intelligent people do when their buttons are pushed” by Marcel Schwantes. The article was primarily focussed on adults dealing with drama in their workplace. However as I read through the article I couldn’t help but wonder if the points raised in the article could equally transfer to how we might deal with drama that occurs within our families or at school.
The points noted were:
- Get Perspective: Listen without judgement, process, and hold back without reacting head on.
- Take a 6 second pause:T Similar to the first point, this allows time to gather thoughts before speaking. When speaking with students at school I often talk to them about “taking 3 breaths”. The purpose is the same, it allows time to think before acting/speaking; it is a strategy I have learnt to use, and put to use many times as a parent.
- Stay humble: This really means rather than reacting with cynicism or sarcasm we use our inner strength to take the higher road, and react with compassion instead. If we can role model this to our children, they too will learn to act with humility and thus learn a skill useful in diffusing conflict situations.
- Try empathy: The ability to look at the big picture, or both sides of an issue is a difficult lesson to teach children. Having self-awareness and empathy is a vital skill we all need to have effective relationships. By role modelling this character trait we can show our children what empathy looks like.
- Ask the most conflict-diffusing question “Are you okay?”: This point is suggesting if someone flies off the handle at you, rather than reacting negatively, ask the question “are you okay?” - and then listen. The suggestion is that the question will often raise the ‘real’ issue that is happening. As a parent this question could be very helpful if we react to our child’s outburst with calm and listening, asking if they are okay, rather than reacting to the words and/or behaviour without thought.
- Speak from your authentic self: This is about being honest, not hiding behind a mask. Admit to mistakes, model integrity. Being authentic as a parent is a great example to set to our children. If we can admit we are wrong, our children can then also learn to admit to their mistakes.
- Be the first to reach out after conflict: This last point is about not letting our ego get in the way of a friendship, being the bigger person and reaching out to make amends or apologise first which can then often lead to the other party apologising too.
I believe the points raised by Marcel Schwantes are relevant to all of us not just in the workplace. The skills needed for dealing with difficult relationships can be learnt and practised within our family units and are relevant for all ages from primary school age to adult.
Sandy Altmann
Pastoral Care Worker
Lockleys North Primary School
Tuesdays - 8.30am to 3.30pm
Phone: 8443 5544 (Lockleys North Primary School)