Senior Years and Wellbeing
Dear Parents,
This clip contains some extremely valuable information on the teenage brain and also the impact of alcohol consumption on our teenagers. The presenter, Nathan Milkaere-Wallis is a Neuroscience Educator. More of his work can be found at http://www.brainwave.org.nz/
Grief and Loss
Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult and at times overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve but it can help to allow yourself to grieve, share your grief, and let others support you. In time you will learn to live with your loss, heal and move forward in new and different ways.
What are grief and loss?
Grief is a natural response to loss. It might be the loss of a loved one, relationship, miscarriage, pet, job or way of life. Other experiences of loss may be due to children leaving home, infertility and separation from friends and family. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief is likely to be. Grief is expressed in many ways and it can affect every part of your life; your emotions, thoughts and behaviour, beliefs, physical health, your sense of self and identity, and your relationships with others.
Grief can leave you feeling sad, angry, anxious, shocked, regretful, relieved, overwhelmed, isolated, irritable or numb. Many of these reactions are not constant but instead can come in waves; often triggered by memories or occasions. The first few days after a loss are particularly intense emotionally and many people say that they function on ‘auto’ for a while just to get through. Grief can affect your thinking; leaving you unable to concentrate or make decisions, forgetful and sometimes causing you to worry that you will never feel better. It can also cause difficulty in your sleeping and physical health, leading to headaches, nausea, aches and pains. It is not unusual to also question your faith or beliefs at this time as you search for answers and meaning following the loss. The way you are feeling and thinking affects how you interact with the world around you; your friends, family and workplace. For some, being with others is comforting while others prefer more solitude as they come to terms with their loss. Grief has no set pattern. Everyone experiences grief differently and there are cultural and circumstantial factors that affect how people express and cope with it. Some people may grieve for weeks and months, while others may describe their grief lasting for years. Through the process of grief, however, you begin to create new experiences and habits that work around your loss. You slowly begin to experience a greater sense of hope; focusing more on the future rather than the loss itself. In time memories begin to become something to enjoy rather than triggering sadness.
Looking after yourself after a significant loss
Grief is something that takes time to work through. While everyone finds their own way to grieve it is important to have the support of friends and family or someone else, and to talk about your loss when you need to.
Allow yourself to grieve and heal
Grieve your way. No one can tell you how to feel.
Understand that grief takes time.
Expect that you will sometimes find yourself surprised by how you are feeling.
Express how you feel to someone you trust. Talk using words that are comfortable and have meaning to you and don’t be afraid to share your emotions; your tears, anger, relief etc.
Honour your loss. It might be by writing a journal of memories, writing letters, treasuring precious possessions, planting a tree, writing a song; whatever feels meaningful to you.
Be prepared for difficult events that trigger your memories and sadness. This may happen on anniversaries, birthdays, reunions or perhaps when you see particular reminders of what you have lost.
Take one step at a time. Know that there will be setbacks but that you will heal in time.
Miss Kristen Waldron