Restorative Practices

Managing Incidents Between Students

In any place where humans gather  together there  are inevitable conflicts and disagreements, high emotions, social challenges and issues.  Schools are a place where there are a lot of little people who are learning to regulate their emotions and learning to behave well towards each other. As a result schools experience these issues on a daily basis.  Schools are places of learning and we know that children cannot learn effectively when they are in a heightened state of emotional dysregulation so it is in our best interest to resolve conflict effectively so that the focus on learning can happen. Our teachers are highly skilled  in working with students who struggle with social skills and need support and are actively  involved with students in resolving issues. 

These issues are opportunities for children to learn to manage their emotions, build empathy for others and develop understandings of what is and isn't acceptable behaviour.  None of our children are above making mistakes or behaving badly given particular circumstances. Some of our students have particular difficulties because of their disabilities, trauma experiences, family violence or family circumstances.  We value all of our children regardless.

Many people may believe that children and young people who are mean or bully others must be 'punished' for their behaviour. This type of response can be ineffective, dangerous, breed resentment and make situations worse as a child or young person can be resentful of punishment rather than reflective of their actions. Children and young people require the opportunity to hear about and face up to the harm and distress they have caused others.  Restorative approaches are built on values which separate the person from the behaviour. They promote accountability and seek to repair any harm caused in a situation.

At Loch Primary School we use a restorative approach to resolving conflicts which is based on the Play is the Way 3R's.

The rationale behind this approach is that when offenders reflect upon their harm to victims: 

• They become remorseful and act restoratively.
• teachers can focus on the unacceptable behaviour of offenders rather than their moral character.
• This can lead to healthier interpersonal relations among members of the school community and more effective learning.

This approach focuses on building awareness and empathy of students who behave inappropriately and encourages them to take responsibility for their actions and to repair the damage they have caused.

Our goal at Loch Primary School is to develop students who choose to behave kindly and respectfully towards all members of our community because they know that is the right thing to do not because they are fearful of a punishment.  I have many times in my career seen students who behave well when a teacher is present and as soon as they walk away the poor behaviour continues or worse still the behaviour becomes covert and is totally hidden from teachers eyes.  A restorative approach provides an expectation that a perpetrator will take responsibility for their actions, face the harm they have caused and will be required to make amends. Punishments do not provide these opportunities and can cause many students to feel angry and threatened or shamed and humiliated in a way that  results in their emotions and thinking shutting down and becoming unresponsive. 

It is important for parents to understand that every child deserves  our care and consideration and we will not impose harm on any child by  inflicting shame or punishments.

When faced with a conflict between students, teachers will provide time for students involved to calm down and will then talk to each student about what has happened.  They will assist students to identify what harm / injury has occurred and then guide students to find a way to make amends and restore the relationship.

Loch Primary School has a behaviour management flow chart which outlines actions teachers take when serious incidents of violence and bullying occur.  These incidents may require a longer time for those involved to calm down and may involve students not being able to attend class or school until a restorative process has occurred.

Serious incidents of violence include deliberate physical attacks, psychological and emotional abuse and ongoing bullying.   It is important to understand what bullying is especially when faced with students who are experiencing social and emotional difficulties.

The Australian National Definition of bullying:

Bullying is an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behaviour that intends to cause physical, social and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening.

Bullying can happen in person or online, via various digital platforms and devices and it can be obvious (overt) or hidden (covert). Bullying behaviour is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time (for example, through sharing of digital records)

Bullying of any form or for any reason can have immediate, medium and long-term effects on those involved, including bystanders. Single incidents and conflict or fights between equals, whether in person or online, are not defined as bullying.

Behaviours that do not constitute bullying include:

• mutual arguments and disagreements (where there is no power imbalance)
• not liking someone or a single act of social rejection
• one-off acts of meanness or spite
• isolated incidents of aggression, intimidation or violence.

However, these conflicts still need to be addressed and resolved.

The majority of incidents that Loch teachers are involved in include:

• frustrated students unable to a manage their emotions
• disagreements and arguments about winning  games (particularly football, basketball or four square
• frustrated students who have language difficulties communicating their needs
• misinterpretation of social situations and games, particularly involving  students who have disabilities
• ownership over equipment and spaces eg sandpit space, balls, cubby house timber.

As a parent, you are your child's advocate and it is important that you contact your child's teachers if you are concerned about any incidents. I do however ask that you consider your own emotions and expectations. It is easy to become an angry parent looking for retribution when your child has been hurt.  I ask that you consider what takes more effort, what requires more consideration and what are children most likely to learn from??

1) sitting on a chair missing out on playtime / picking up rubbish in the yard or

2) being involved in a conversation where you admit to hurting someone, acknowledge their hurt and take action to make amends? 

As adults who are role models to our precious little people, we all have a responsibility to demonstrate appropriate behaviours,  conflict resolution and positive relationships. Our actions and words and how we treat all children have a huge impact on their development and the culture of our school.