Health & Wellbeing

HOW CONSISTENCY IMPROVES KIDS' BEHAVIOUR

By Michael Grose

One of the simplest ways to improve a child’s behaviour is to be more consistent.

Children love their parents to be consistent as they are able to predict how they will act. A consistent approach to discipline helps put kids in control of their behaviour.

Consistency means as parents we follow through and do as we say we will. It means resisting giving kids second and third chances when they break the rules or behave poorly around others. When we let kids get away with two or three infractions of the rules we often come down very hard eventually, which causes resentment. Act early and prevent poor behaviour from escalating is the best approach.

Consistency also means both parents in a dual parent family get to act together and respond in similar ways when children are less than perfect. Children learn from a young age to play one parent off against the other when their standards differ or communication is poor. Sole parents need to be consistent with how they react when children behave poorly.

A consistent approach is shown through a clear set of limits and boundaries that provide kids with structure and teaches them how to behave. Studies show that families with very few boundaries or rules are more likely to have children who behave poorly around others, or don’t consider their own safety.

Children like limits and they also like to push against boundaries. One study has shown that kids will push parental boundaries about one third of the time. This is a normal, but irritating expression of a child’s push for independence and autonomy. Some toddlers, teens and other tricky types will push twice that amount, which is very hard work indeed.

Consistency is often sacrificed by busy parents and put in the ‘too-hard basket’. When parents are tired, stretched and overworked the last thing we want to do is engage in a battle with a strong-willed child over what are sometimes petty issues. Besides, consistency can make a well-meaning parent who values relationships feel downright awful.

But giving in rather than holding your ground is not a smart long-term strategy. If you give in occasionally kids will learn that if they push hard enough, or give that winning smile, you will eventually give in. Consistency is about being strong. It takes some backbone to be consistent.

Here are some ideas to help you be consistent with your kids:

Focus on priority behaviours. It’s difficult to be consistent with every single misbehaviour, but it’s easy to focus on one or two. When you are consistent with one or two priority behaviours it has a positive impact on other behaviours.
Give yourself a tangible reminder about the behaviour you want to follow up. Leave a note somewhere telling yourself that you need to “Walk away when a child whines. Don’t give in.” Or “Catch your kids doing the right thing when they resolve a problem without arguing.”
Check your routines. Make sure you have simple routines for troublesome times of the day such as bedtime or mealtimes.
Act rather then overtalk or repeat yourself when kids misbehave. Sometimes it’s really inconvenient to set a consequence, as you may have to battle a tantrum that follows. But the stand-firm approach pays off in the long-term as kids learn eventually that you mean what you say, and say what you mean. That’s what firm, consistent discipline requires.

IT'S NOT OK TO BE AWAY

The time is right to focus on improved attendance rates at Toolamba PS.

Last year on average each student was absent for 11.1 days. This means that on average each student will miss 4 months of school during their time at our school.

Local and international research demonstrates a strong correlation between students’ learning, longer-term life outcomes and attendance at school and appropriate participation in education programs.

It is important that children develop habits of regular attendance from an early age, as the older a child gets the more difficult it can be to establish new habits.

Poor patterns of attendance place students at risk of not achieving their educational, social and future potential as adults.

Once learners have begun to absent themselves from pre-school or school, and the initial cause of this remains undetected or unresolved, it is likely that the pattern of absence will continue and escalate through their subsequent schooling and adulthood. Please remember that if you are experiencing difficulty in having your child attend school, discuss the matter with your child’s teacher.

Health Reminder

It is important that we all continue to monitor our own and the health of our children daily during this time. If you or your child develops any symptoms such as a fever, cough, sore throat or

shortness of breath:

Stay at home and do not attend school
Seek medical advice
Call the school to let us know of any important outcomes
If you or your child has a health condition or complex health needs, please discuss this with your medical specialist.
Information about coronavirus (COVID-19) is available on the DHHS website.

Our school is continuing to promote and implement on a daily basis both Covid-safe behaviours and practices across our school community.

Financial Assistance - CSEF

Every Victorian child should have access to the world of learning opportunities that exist beyond the classroom. The Camps, Sports and Excursions Fund helps ensure that no student will miss out on the opportunity to join their classmates for important, educational and fun activities. It is part of making Victoria the Education State and the Government’s commitment to breaking the link between a student’s background and their outcomes.

School camps provide children with inspiring experiences in the great outdoors. Excursions encourage a deeper understanding of how the world works while sports teach teamwork, discipline and leadership. All are a part of a healthy curriculum.

CSEF is provided by the Victorian Government to assist eligible families to cover the costs of school trips, camps and sporting activities.

If you hold a valid means-tested concession card or are a temporary foster parent, you may be eligible for CSEF. A special consideration category also exists for asylum seeker and refugee families. The allowance is paid to the school to use towards expenses relating to camps, excursions or

sporting activities for the benefit of your child.

HOW TO APPLY

New applicants should contact the school office to obtain a CSEF application form or download from the website below.

If you applied for CSEF at your child's school last year, you do not need to complete an application form this year unless there has been a change in your family circumstances.

You only need to complete an application form if any of the following changes have occurred:

new student enrolments; your child has started or changed schools this year.
changed family circumstances; such as a change of custody, change of name, concession card number, or new siblings commencing this year.

The annual CSEF amount per student is:

$125 for primary school students
$225 for secondary school students

MORE INFORMATION

For more information about CSEF visit:https://www.education.vic.gov.au/about/programs/Pages/csef.aspx

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