MCC Counsellor and Well being News

Welcome to Term 1 2021!

For those new to MCC I would like to introduce a great resource that is available to you all. 

SchoolTV is an online resource designed to provide clear, relevant and fact-based information to assist parents and carers to raise safe, happy and resilient young people. You will find a range of topics with comprehensive videos from leading specialists, including one of Australia’s high profile psychologists, Dr Michael Carr Gregg. SchoolTV has great content from organisations such as Beyond Blue, ReachOut, HeadSpace and many others. It also provides fact sheets, suggested books, apps, websites and much more. You can access MCC SchoolTV on the College website here.

This month I would like to highlight the SchoolTV 

SPECIAL REPORT: Starting Year 7

In this Special Report, there are a number of strategies offered that can make this transition period smoother and start things off on the right foot! We hope you take time to reflect on the information offered in this Special Report, and as always, we welcome your feedback. Here is the link to the Special Report. 

Starting Year 7 poses many new challenges, but also offers exciting opportunities. It comes with a number of mixed feelings. During this time of transition, parents and carers need to be supportive, but also realistic in their expectations. This is an important milestone in your child’s life. There will be feelings of exhilaration, but also the fear of the unknown. Therefore it will be important for parents and carers to be vigilant in monitoring their child’s mood and mental health during this time. 

How can families support children to make the transition as smooth as possible?

On a practical level, I think it helps when parents take the time to make sure they know their child's timetable and schedule, and assist in planning for each day's requirements, at least for the first term or so.  It is important to note, however, that I am not saying for parents to ‘do it for them', but to model 'how to plan'.

On an emotional level, I would say that many parents would benefit greatly from managing their own anxieties around their child starting secondary school.  Perhaps they're worried about how their child will cope.  Perhaps they had a bad experience at school or during this transition and are worried that their child will too.  I would encourage parents to be very aware of the language they use and the messages they send around this – your child’s life is not your own.  The way questions are framed and comments are made communicates a great deal to a child.  For example, avoid negative questions like "Was anyone mean to you today?"  or "What went wrong at school today to make you in a bad mood?"  These questions can cause a child to focus on negatives and they may rack their brain thinking of something that went wrong that they can report.  Many children will just want some down-time after a day at school and not want to talk, but if you have to ask, perhaps try something open-ended, like “Tell me about something you enjoyed at school today.”

How can children’s friendships be affected during this time? And what are some of the ways families can support children with this?

Friendship and kindness are as precious as gold when one is feeling vulnerable at the start of secondary school, and children can quickly form a strong bond with someone who offers this.  In fact, these first-day-friendships can even be at the expense of established friendships. If your child is one who forms new friendships quickly, I would recommend working to find time for your child to get together one-to-one with old friends, including those who are no longer at the same school, as while many of these new friendships do last, some can stop as abruptly as they started.

For other children, they will be the ones being neglected by old friends and perhaps struggling to make new friends.  If your child is experiencing this, I would encourage you to talk to them about how things are going with friends at school.  And when I say ‘talk’, I mainly mean ‘listen’.  It will be about finding a balance of both validating what your child is telling you (e.g. “It’s hard when friends from primary school don’t want to play”) while focusing on what constructive things they could do.  Don’t dismiss their feelings but also do not try to fix the situation for them. Rather, work to empower your child with conversation around, for example, "What could you say to your friend when they tell you to go away?" and "What else could you do at recess?"  If this is not enough then I would suggest contacting the school and seeking the teacher’s advice. Teachers are very experienced in helping with these kinds of transition issues.

Signs your child might be having difficulty

If your child is struggling with the transition to secondary school, you might notice that they:

• don’t want to go to school, or refuses to go
• say they feels sick on Sunday nights
• doesn’t seem interested in schoolwork or new activities at the new school
• doesn’t talk with you about school or friends
• seems low on confidence or self-esteem – your child might make negative comments about themselves saying they are dumb or that nobody likes them
• is getting lower marks than usual

Making new friends, learning new routines, discovering new environments, accepting new cultures and adjusting to new learning practices is all part of the process. Some children will sail through this period of change, whilst others may need a bit more guidance. It is important to give your child the chance to feel comfortable in their new space. This may take a few months, but ensure you keep the lines of communication open and check in regularly with your child to see how they are settling in.

Remember unconditional love, being there and supporting your child will ensure that they manage in the end.  In saying that, if your child is having trouble, don’t wait for things to improve on their own. Try to get your child talking about how they are feeling and see whether you can work out some strategies together. If things don’t improve, or you have any concerns, please speak with the Pastoral/Year Co-ordinator or myself. 

I look forward to working with the students, staff and families of Marian Catholic College throughout 2021. All the very best for the year ahead!

Karen Surian

School Counsellor/Social Worker