Mentone Girls' Secondary College Newsletter

Wellbeing

The theme this week is adolescent behaviour. 

 

If you feel your daughter is becoming overwhelmed please contact the Wellbeing Team or Student Manager at school for further support.

 

Regards

The Wellbeing Team

What's normal in adolescence?

Due to the numerous changes in adolescence, it’s common to observe a wide range of behaviours, including:

  • Increased sleep – adolescents require more sleep than adults. They also tend to stay up later at night. This is related to biological factors of brain development and hormonal changes.
  • Emotionally driven decision making – decisions are generally more emotionally driven due to use of the emotional parts of the brain.
  • Mood swings - mood swings are quite common as children become adolescents. The huge hormonal changes that teens are going through affects the production of dopamine and serotonin in the brain, causing frequent changes in mood. Mood swings are a cause for concern when they are drastic, frequent, and extreme. 
  • Self-centeredness – many teens think only of themselves, and in some cases, they experience difficulty considering the thoughts, feelings, or actions of others. This is because teens are figuring out who they are as people and trying to find their place in the world. This can leave little attention for people or events outside their immediate spheres of interest and understanding.
  • Risk taking – adolescents may have a need for instant gratification along with poor self-control. Risk taking is related to low impulse control and peer pressure. It is normal for adolescents to want to fit in with the crowd, and teens are not likely to think through consequences before making decisions. This can lead to some light risk-taking behaviour, such as experimenting with alcohol at a party or skipping the occasional class. When risk-taking behaviours become dangerous to your teen or others, you may need to address the problem and seek help.
  • Individuation and experimentation – adolescents are trying to establish their own identity and independence. They tend to experiment with behaviours that differ to those of their family and are more relevant to their peer group (for instance, dressing a certain way to belong to a particular subculture).
  • Defiance and testing Limits – as teens fight for their independence, they are likely to become defiant and test the limits of rules and expectations. It is normal adolescent behaviour for teens to ignore or argue about rules, or outright refuse to do things that are asked of them.

Warning Signs

Change is normal and expected during the teen years. However, certain behaviours or personality changes may indicate signs of trouble and warrant professional help. Watch for these warning signs:

 

Emotions

  • Prolonged periods of sadness (two weeks or more)
  • Prolonged periods of irritability
  • Anxiety or excessive worry
  • Loss of motivation
  • Flatness or apparent loss of enjoyment in activities that used to be enjoyable
  • Excessive anger
  • Excessive fear.

Expressed thoughts

  • Hopeless thoughts (such as, “nothing will ever get better” or, “nobody cares”)
  • Helpless thoughts (such as, “I can’t do it”)
  • Anxious thoughts (such as, “something bad will happen if...”)
  • Self-critical thoughts (such as, “I’m not good enough”).

Learning

  • A drop in academic functioning (for example, lower marks).
  • Refusal to complete tasks
  • Absenteeism
  • Perfectionism.

Social relationships

  • Social withdrawal or avoidance
  • Severe shyness
  • Being argumentative 
  • Rudeness or aggression
  • Regular and ongoing conflict with friends or family.

Physical issues

  • Tiredness or changes to or unusual sleeping habits
  • Changes to or unusual eating habits or significant weight loss or gain
  • Inappropriate arousal (such as sweating, blushing, shaking and frequent trips to toilet)
  • Physical ailments can also indicate poor mental health (eg regular somatic complaints of headaches or stomach aches).

Other

  • Not wanting to be involved in things they would normally enjoy or have previously enjoyed
  • Talk or even jokes about suicide
  • Self-harm
  • Sleep problems
  • Rapid, drastic changes in personality
  • Rigid behaviours (such as eating certain foods at fixed times or over-exercising)
  • Increased alcohol or other drug use
  • Lack of self-care.

Tips for Parenting Teens

Put Yourself in Your Child's Place

Practice empathy by helping your child understand that it's normal to be a bit concerned or self-conscious, and that it's okay to feel grown-up one minute and like a child the next.

 

Pick Your Battles

If teenagers want to change their hairstyle, paint their fingernails black, or wear different style clothes, think twice before you object. It is normal for teens to explore and experiment with their identity and forms of self-expression. Allow your child to explore different ways to present themselves. It's a lot better to let them do something temporary and harmless; save your objections for things that really matter.

 

Set Expectations

While teens might object to the expectations their parents place on them, they usually understand and need to know that their parents care enough about them to expect certain things such as good grades, acceptable behaviour, and sticking to the house rules. If parents have appropriate expectations, teens will likely try to meet them. Without reasonable expectations, your teen may feel you don't care about him or her.

 

Inform Your Teen — and Stay Informed Yourself

The teen years often are a time of experimentation, and sometimes that experimentation includes risky behaviours. Don't avoid the subjects of sex, drugs, alcohol, or tobacco use. Discussing tough topics openly with children before they're exposed to them actually makes it more likely that they'll act responsibly when the time comes. Share your family values with your teen and talk about what you believe is right and wrong, and why.

 

Respect Your Child's Privacy

Understandably, some parents have a very hard time with this one. But to help your teen become a young adult, you'll need to grant them some privacy. You also shouldn't expect your teen to share all thoughts or activities with you at all times. Of course, for safety reasons, you should always know where teens are going, when they'll be returning, what they're doing, and with whom, but you don't need to know every detail.

 

If you notice warning signs of trouble, of course safety takes priority over privacy. But generally, it’s a good idea to allow your teen to feel a sense of privacy.

Support services 

24-HOUR TELEPHONE COUNSELLING - If you need to talk to someone call:

  • Lifeline on 13 11 14
  • Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800
  • Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
  • Headspace 1800 650 890
  • Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

ONLINE COUNSELLING: