Pastrol Care Worker

Sibling Rivalry

This week I thought I would focus on sibling rivalry, a topic that has come to my attention a number of times over the last few years.

Sibling rivalry is very common; in fact it is reported on average siblings fight for 10 minutes of every hour they play together. Reasons for fighting can vary but often come about because one child views a situation differently to the other, when one child tries to assert what they believe are their rights, or when a child fights for parental attention.

As parents we can often feel frustrated when we hear our children arguing between themselves, however it is not all bad news. Arguments between siblings give an opportunity for children to practice skills that will be used throughout their life. Skills learnt can include problem solving, negotiating, learning to see another person’s point of view and respecting other people’s feelings, rights and belongings.

As parents we can help our children learn how to settle differences by role modelling. If we settle disagreements in a productive, respectful and non-aggressive way we can increase the chances of our children adopting the same practice.

Internet sites provide many suggestions to help prevent sibling rivalry, some points I found include:

Spend special time with each child on a regular basis.
Together, set ground rules for acceptable behaviour, such as no name calling, or hitting.
Try not to compare children with each other.
Have fun together as a family. This will establish a peaceful way for children to spend time together. Playing board games, throwing a ball or watching a movie together are some good ways to do this.

If we do need to get involved suggestions on how to do this include: Separate kids until they are calm. This will stop the fight from escalating. Later the fight can be revisited as a learning experience.

Try not to take sides, anyone who is involved is partly responsible.
Set up a “win-win” situation so that each child gains something. For example, if both children wanted to play with the same toy, suggest playing a game together.
Reminding children of the ground rules .

Further information on sibling rivalry can be found on the attached Parenting Easyguide or from the following websites.

http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/fighting.html

http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/sibling-rivalry.html?WT.ac=ctg#

Smout K. (2014), 13 ideas for when siblings fight, developing minds psychology and education, http://developingminds.net.au/what-to-do-when-siblings-fight/

Sandy Altman