Principal's Message

Last night I fired my son from his job....

We don't have a dishwasher at home. It is a task that no-one loves at our house.  For the past few months this job has been held by our middle son aged 10. He is paid weekly for washing the dishes nightly. As with all children beginning a task he struggled to meet the criteria of dishes being clean - surely we didn't have to worry about that speck or spot! We continued to work with him, showing him how to clean, watching and helping and eventually putting the 'clean' dishes back for rewashing and explaining to him why.

Last night I once again was met with dishes that were not properly clean. I pointed it out again to #2 son only to be told that 'it's OK', 'you're just being picky' and 'you're always going on about it'. I agreed yes - I was having to repeat and repeat these instructions, the support and the effort being put in. So I fired him from the job. 

He was horrified! Aghast he wanted to know why I had done that, explaining that he had plans for the money he was saving, and upset that his parent had turned on him this way. I shared an important life lesson with him. If you don't do the job you are being paid to do someone will take that job and the income away. I firmly believe that it is my job to show my son that failure to meet job criteria will end up with a financial strain. If I leave it to his employer in the future I've done no favours to anyone.

Parenting isn't easy. Media, social media and entertainment would have us believe it is endless joy with the wonderful creations we have brought into the world. Now sometimes  parenting is joyous and fun but often I find it messy, tiring, dispiriting, frustrating and plain hard. We need to support each other as we parent, stick through the hard parts and give one another a nod or a well done when you hear about their parenting challenge that they have worked through. Don't be afraid to ask for suggestions or help as you navigate through whatever challenge your children grow into.

Be assured conflict in parenting your children only occurs when they want to do something you don't want them to do or they don't want to do something that you do want them to do. This is normal. It develops limits and boundaries for children that they take into adulthood as reasonable understanding of normal expectations.  If your child is never challenged, never has to meet a set of non-negotiable criteria then you will never have push back. But you will also have a child that never learns that life is give and take and that they need to work to make the most of their opportunities.